Oh Boy

Our new baby is a boy. 

We got the NIPT test, which is a new prenatal blood test available at 10 weeks that can tell the sex and any chromosomal abnormalities with a much higher degree of accuracy than previous tests and cut the need for amniocentesis (which carries a miscarriage rate). Word to the wise: because it's a new test, most insurance doesn't see it as necessary and will not cover it totally - although Medicare will.  -_-

But! Despite this, at least it's good for me to know, so I can stop planning on having sisters close in age and instead focus on my impending doom, i.e., raising a boy. 

I'm kidding! Mostly.

Yet I have had my mental struggles with raising a male child. Girls come naturally to me - because I am one? Because I am close to my mother? Who knows, but I feel like I know how to raise girls: I know the behavior to nip in the bud, how to recognize different girl personality types and not squash developing interests, how to encourage modesty but not induce body-shaming, etc. I think I have the map for dealing with Girl-land and even if that (ok it definitely will) proves false, at least it's a comforting illusion. 

This wasn't ever my experience, but I hear it's quite common

What I am worried about with boys is that I will confuse natural 'boyness' with misbehavior, poor character development, etc. I don't want to force my expectations of behavior on a child if they're inappropriate or unrealistic, either developmentally or otherwise. And while I agree that little boys and girls often develop the same for the first little bit, my friends of both assure me that there is something to the idea that boys are just...different. What I don't ever want to do is squash that differentness, or punish it, because it is unfamiliar to me. 

As a mother, I hold myself to very high standards. I did a ton of reading, researching, and praying before we had Zuzu to make sure I was making strong informed decisions about parenting. Obviously, two years later, I am reforming some of those decisions based on what works practically on the ground. Now I'm trying to research how to raise a boy without being completely...sexist? Crazy? Overthinking too much? 

Gorgeous 1950s mom says "yes, you are overthinking"

Anybody out there in blogland have any thoughts or resources? If you want to tell me I'm crazy, don't worry, I already agree with you. 

PHFR

Today is making my dreams come true. What's that? Did I win the lottery? Get Zuzu to sleep on command in her own bed? Hire a maid? Learn how to grow hydrangeas in southwest Florida?

No, unfortunately, to all of those things (and now you know my wildest fantasies). But today felt like real fall, at least for us. Windows open, cool breezes, much less humidity. In honor of the day, I'm joining up with Like Mother, Like Daughter to share my joy (and woes).

{pretty} 

My foxtail fern:

Fox tail ferns are actually not ferns at all - but they do have such lovely green color to them and are very hardy down here. They do so well anywhere, but I haven't settled on where to put mine just yet (hence letting it sit in the pot a bit more...hopefully NOT getting root bound). I am comforted to know it's done fine wherever I've put it, so it's permanent place is very much up for debate.

{happy} 

Flowers! In my garden!

Flowers! I love flowers that aren't waxy or insect looking, like most things down here. This lovely tecoma sans is a flowering bush/tree that has really taken to this spot on the south side of the house, but with some shade from the mahogany tree. It can get up to 15 feet tall and 10 feet wide, but I'm trying to keep it well pruned so we can still walk around on that side of the house.

{funny} 

Is this a bougainvellia or a weed? 

It's actually a bogie, that we had trimmed back and hacked out from the potato vine. But now something else has sprung up - a humongous weed, right in the midst of it. To get at the weed, we have to hack the bogie back (I don't want to wrestle with 2-inch thorns) and then try to wrestles its roots out or else find some sort of poison that'll take out the weed but not the bogie.
I do think it's funny that it looks like we are actively cultivating this hideous weed. Bogie flowers are actually quite pretty, but they're being obscured by this wretched demon.

See? Pretty.

{real}

My house - it struggles. 

Haven't quite dried out the couch cushion covers yet...or found a new place for that huge stroller in my tiny house.

Why, what a pleasant assortment of objects: canned corn, pledge, magazine, tshirt (dirty? clean? who knows!), Irish Coke bottle, ancient joke books, etc. 

Roach killer next to cutting board and bread - obviously a good idea.

Breastfast dishes, general clutter, and a tablecloth that is half falling off the table: my Little Oratory is in GOOD shape.

I have done several big projects lately (washing all of the couch cushion covers, switching bookshelves, weeding out bookshelves, organizing our 1K+ books). But whenever I devote myself to big, deep-clean type ordeals, my regular daily chores get sorely neglected and despite maybe being cleaner, my house ends up messier.
How's that for a fine how-do-you-do??

Zuzu is Two-Zu

Remember when she turned one? I thought she was big then - now I look back and see a chubby baby!

But now it's been another year, full of trips and milestones.

Ireland:

Playing piggies in Galway

Foam courtesy of hot chocolate!

Time change struggles

Aruba: 

Nursing beachside

These are the macaws, "that tried to bite me!" as she'll tell anyone who will listen

Indiana:

The car show had popsicles! 

Dancing with Cousin Raf, post-Mass

Hanging with Grandma Jean, Grampy, and cousins at the car show

This year she's fallen even more in love with books (which she'll choose over movies, ice cream, or nursing), she's discovered pretend play ("I'm a cat!" or "oh babies, time to go to bed, ok wake up 'ave ice 'eeem!"), and she's become quite the mimic ("oh lorduh" thanks to Daddy, "I have a tummy ache" thanks to my morning sickness complaints). 

I realize now how dangerous it'd be for her to stay an only child. In truth, everything she does astounds me: listening to her play under the table, having her 'read' her books (she's memorized every one we own), having conversations with her where she speaks in full sentences. I love watching who she is becoming, seeing what interests develop, and what about the world enchants her. I love introducing her to new tastes, books, and beautiful places - what a joy it is to discover the world with her! 

We had a small family party at home yesterday, first going to the beach:

Paddle, paddle, paddle! 

with her BFF and neighbor, Macie

Then post-nap, we had presents...

a slide from Grampy and GG! Her face really lit up for this one

lots of new books from loved ones near and far

And Nemo cake!! 

She blew out her candle all on her own - but she's been practicing for months!

Low key, but fun, a day with some of the people she loves most. It was hard for me to resist going overboard - huge party! decorate house like an aquarium! buy her everything! invite everyone! - but I realized that if I want her to focus on love and celebrating the gift of life, I have to start now. Small parties are okay, when the love is so big.

As we've gone through this year as a family, I have marveled at the gift of being her mother and watching Tom be her father. We are so looking forward to another year with our little girl and seeing her become a big sister. 

Another year with our girl - what could be better than that? 

The Orams, October 2014