5 (Possible) Favorites: Pregnancy Beauty Edition

Now hosted by Jenna at Call Her Happy!

Well everything is my draft box is S U P E R  H E A V Y and I'm not just not feeling it, so here's some beauty/fashion blather to get us all through.

I'm pregnant again - 20 weeks now - and unlike last time, I am not interested in disappearing into a cocoon for 9 months. No, really - there are all of five pictures of me pregnant with Zuzu and they are NOT PRETTY. I was bigger anyway and didn't really take care of myself during my pregnancy, so I just didn't feel very great which automatically = zero pictures. No maternity shoot, no 'bump dates' (thank goodness, #weird), and only one bump selfie on the Insta (which is now private after this total stranger liked EVERY SINGLE picture of Zuzu where she wasn't fully clothed - no seriously).

View my attempts this time around to not look slobish: makeup, blow dried hair, etc.

This time around I'm 30 pounds lighter and more interested in not being a hibernating Mama. I'm trying to be vaguely cute. But y'know what I realized? All the maternity clothes I bought last time reflected my disinterest in my image, or more accurately, my total self-loathing. Most of it is weird silhouettes that aren't flattering, poor quality fabrics, and styles I don't even like. Yup, sounds like the wardrobe of someone who has lost hope! So I'm trying to re-do things, slowly, and I have some better ideas about what I like...

-1-

The Blanqi

First things first, shape wear is my life and this sucker is on my major wants list: 

A lot of women seem to need it for support, but I'm mostly interested in uh, smoothing my silhouette. Read: everything cuts in weird places now making unsightly bulges. Clothing that actually fits is more flattering no matter your size, so I need this sucker even under regular tshirts, $68 price tag be hanged.

-2-

Bodycon Maternity Dress

via Asos

I have always looked better in form fitting styles: pencil skirts, sheath dresses with plenty of lycra, etc. It shows off my curves. But I have no idea if the same will be true for my pregnant shape, since I've only ever been interested in hiding it. My deepest fear is that I will not look like the Swedish model goddess above and instead look like Kim Kardashian (it was bad, trust me). 

-3-

Lovely Jubblies 

from Lush 

This cream is designed for stretch marks on the décolletage area, but I've heard several reports that it works elsewhere - amazingly well. The price tag is hefty, but honestly, I'm intrigued by people saying it has a delightful floral smell (I love all girly smells all the time in my personal products) and that it's incredibly effective.  My stretch marks aren't intense, but I hope to have many pregnancies to go, so I'd like to flatter my vanity while I can pretend it does any good. 

-4-

Nursing tank tops

I didn't buy or register for any with Zuzu and I feel that was extremely foolish. I realize this is looked at mostly as a postpartum necessity, but as they are usually longer they can also double for maternity tanks - ever essential in the third trimester when you are constantly in danger of flashing your belly to all asunder. Although theoretically the Blanqi would also solve that problem, living in Florida means there will be plenty of winter days where a tank top and light cardigan will be plenty to ward off whatever 'chill' is in the air. 

I've heard the ones from Target are great, but I have no basis for comparison - anybody have a favorite they want to suggest? 

-5-

Strong lip colors 

Deepest berry, bright pinks, candy apple reds...I am feeling LIPSTICK. It's a great way to add color and I love that I cannot wear lipstick without wearing concealer and mascara, i.e., it forces me to put my face on. Oof and if there's one thing that's been slipping since I came to southwest Florida, it's my  beauty routine! Gotta get it together girls...husbands don't inspire themselves. ;) 

Lately I've been all about Raisin Rage by Revlon - which, by the way, is one of two lip colors that my mother has worn for thirty years. It's either Raisin Rage or Toast of New York, forever. My go-to red is No. 34 by Sephora, but I'd like to have a good pink and a berry color too. If you have suggestions, again, I look forward to hearing all about it.  

Oh Boy

Our new baby is a boy. 

We got the NIPT test, which is a new prenatal blood test available at 10 weeks that can tell the sex and any chromosomal abnormalities with a much higher degree of accuracy than previous tests and cut the need for amniocentesis (which carries a miscarriage rate). Word to the wise: because it's a new test, most insurance doesn't see it as necessary and will not cover it totally - although Medicare will.  -_-

But! Despite this, at least it's good for me to know, so I can stop planning on having sisters close in age and instead focus on my impending doom, i.e., raising a boy. 

I'm kidding! Mostly.

Yet I have had my mental struggles with raising a male child. Girls come naturally to me - because I am one? Because I am close to my mother? Who knows, but I feel like I know how to raise girls: I know the behavior to nip in the bud, how to recognize different girl personality types and not squash developing interests, how to encourage modesty but not induce body-shaming, etc. I think I have the map for dealing with Girl-land and even if that (ok it definitely will) proves false, at least it's a comforting illusion. 

This wasn't ever my experience, but I hear it's quite common

What I am worried about with boys is that I will confuse natural 'boyness' with misbehavior, poor character development, etc. I don't want to force my expectations of behavior on a child if they're inappropriate or unrealistic, either developmentally or otherwise. And while I agree that little boys and girls often develop the same for the first little bit, my friends of both assure me that there is something to the idea that boys are just...different. What I don't ever want to do is squash that differentness, or punish it, because it is unfamiliar to me. 

As a mother, I hold myself to very high standards. I did a ton of reading, researching, and praying before we had Zuzu to make sure I was making strong informed decisions about parenting. Obviously, two years later, I am reforming some of those decisions based on what works practically on the ground. Now I'm trying to research how to raise a boy without being completely...sexist? Crazy? Overthinking too much? 

Gorgeous 1950s mom says "yes, you are overthinking"

Anybody out there in blogland have any thoughts or resources? If you want to tell me I'm crazy, don't worry, I already agree with you. 

PHFR

Today is making my dreams come true. What's that? Did I win the lottery? Get Zuzu to sleep on command in her own bed? Hire a maid? Learn how to grow hydrangeas in southwest Florida?

No, unfortunately, to all of those things (and now you know my wildest fantasies). But today felt like real fall, at least for us. Windows open, cool breezes, much less humidity. In honor of the day, I'm joining up with Like Mother, Like Daughter to share my joy (and woes).

{pretty} 

My foxtail fern:

Fox tail ferns are actually not ferns at all - but they do have such lovely green color to them and are very hardy down here. They do so well anywhere, but I haven't settled on where to put mine just yet (hence letting it sit in the pot a bit more...hopefully NOT getting root bound). I am comforted to know it's done fine wherever I've put it, so it's permanent place is very much up for debate.

{happy} 

Flowers! In my garden!

Flowers! I love flowers that aren't waxy or insect looking, like most things down here. This lovely tecoma sans is a flowering bush/tree that has really taken to this spot on the south side of the house, but with some shade from the mahogany tree. It can get up to 15 feet tall and 10 feet wide, but I'm trying to keep it well pruned so we can still walk around on that side of the house.

{funny} 

Is this a bougainvellia or a weed? 

It's actually a bogie, that we had trimmed back and hacked out from the potato vine. But now something else has sprung up - a humongous weed, right in the midst of it. To get at the weed, we have to hack the bogie back (I don't want to wrestle with 2-inch thorns) and then try to wrestles its roots out or else find some sort of poison that'll take out the weed but not the bogie.
I do think it's funny that it looks like we are actively cultivating this hideous weed. Bogie flowers are actually quite pretty, but they're being obscured by this wretched demon.

See? Pretty.

{real}

My house - it struggles. 

Haven't quite dried out the couch cushion covers yet...or found a new place for that huge stroller in my tiny house.

Why, what a pleasant assortment of objects: canned corn, pledge, magazine, tshirt (dirty? clean? who knows!), Irish Coke bottle, ancient joke books, etc. 

Roach killer next to cutting board and bread - obviously a good idea.

Breastfast dishes, general clutter, and a tablecloth that is half falling off the table: my Little Oratory is in GOOD shape.

I have done several big projects lately (washing all of the couch cushion covers, switching bookshelves, weeding out bookshelves, organizing our 1K+ books). But whenever I devote myself to big, deep-clean type ordeals, my regular daily chores get sorely neglected and despite maybe being cleaner, my house ends up messier.
How's that for a fine how-do-you-do??

Zuzu is Two-Zu

Remember when she turned one? I thought she was big then - now I look back and see a chubby baby!

But now it's been another year, full of trips and milestones.

Ireland:

Playing piggies in Galway

Foam courtesy of hot chocolate!

Time change struggles

Aruba: 

Nursing beachside

These are the macaws, "that tried to bite me!" as she'll tell anyone who will listen

Indiana:

The car show had popsicles! 

Dancing with Cousin Raf, post-Mass

Hanging with Grandma Jean, Grampy, and cousins at the car show

This year she's fallen even more in love with books (which she'll choose over movies, ice cream, or nursing), she's discovered pretend play ("I'm a cat!" or "oh babies, time to go to bed, ok wake up 'ave ice 'eeem!"), and she's become quite the mimic ("oh lorduh" thanks to Daddy, "I have a tummy ache" thanks to my morning sickness complaints). 

I realize now how dangerous it'd be for her to stay an only child. In truth, everything she does astounds me: listening to her play under the table, having her 'read' her books (she's memorized every one we own), having conversations with her where she speaks in full sentences. I love watching who she is becoming, seeing what interests develop, and what about the world enchants her. I love introducing her to new tastes, books, and beautiful places - what a joy it is to discover the world with her! 

We had a small family party at home yesterday, first going to the beach:

Paddle, paddle, paddle! 

with her BFF and neighbor, Macie

Then post-nap, we had presents...

a slide from Grampy and GG! Her face really lit up for this one

lots of new books from loved ones near and far

And Nemo cake!! 

She blew out her candle all on her own - but she's been practicing for months!

Low key, but fun, a day with some of the people she loves most. It was hard for me to resist going overboard - huge party! decorate house like an aquarium! buy her everything! invite everyone! - but I realized that if I want her to focus on love and celebrating the gift of life, I have to start now. Small parties are okay, when the love is so big.

As we've gone through this year as a family, I have marveled at the gift of being her mother and watching Tom be her father. We are so looking forward to another year with our little girl and seeing her become a big sister. 

Another year with our girl - what could be better than that? 

The Orams, October 2014

The Pattern

I will take the easy way out and blame my silence on:

No, not dear St. Gerard. 

Baby Oram #2: Coming to a birth center probably nowhere near you, sometime around March 21!

Coming quickly on the heels of losing Louisa, and in fact having a very near-loss experience with this one as well, I have been really low-key about this pregnancy. It's hard to get too excited when I'm preparing myself for more loss, but I've tried not to focus on that or beat myself up for not feeling more excited. Feelings are just fleeting things, after all.

We confirmed our pregnancy suspicions shortly before we left for all our whirlwind summer vacations, culminating in our trip to Ireland last week with our parish's choir. Oh Ireland - you are lovely, cool, and beautiful. I'm ready to move whenever you are, Mr. Oram.

Hotel Dunloe in Killarney...already making plans to go back

We took a horse drawn carriage around the Killarney National Park...yes. 

While there, we decided to look for an Irish name for the new baby. Susannah got her picture taken at St. Susannah's in Rome, so her name is vaguely associated with our Italy trip, so why not go with an Irish theme for this baby? 

We are hyperconscious that once you have two kids, you are setting up a naming pattern. All S names, all Old Testament names, all folksong names - you get the idea. For this reason, several likely candidates have been summarily shot down. But searched as we might across the Emerald Isle, asking every porter, waitress, and stranger their name and its (crazy Gaelic) spelling, we found nothing that struck home or even rung some bells. 

Instead, today, as I was making my bed, I realized I had forgotten - we don't have one named child. We have three. Our children are Francis Marian, Susannah Marshall, and Louisa Frances. Whether there's a pattern or not, I have three named children. This new baby, whether s/he makes it to my arms or not, is Oram baby number four. So I have to think of names that go with Francis, Susannah, and Louisa. 

That takes some of the pressure off, doesn't it? 

Any suggestions - Irish or not! - are welcome!