-1-
So Zuzu had her 9 mo appointment today and the docs were all like, "yeah no big deal only one vaccine to get!" and then they said "oh yeah sorry oops you're not caught up it's four."
It made me very sad. Seeing her in distress breaks my heart, and of course, I'm still eaten up with (unfounded? founded??) guilt about vaccinating.
I was looking over the recommended vaccine schedule and noticed that chicken pox was scheduled for 15 months. I asked if it was required and the NP said, yes it was at this practice. She tried to engage me in conversation about it, but I wasn't really ready to pick a side in that battle, so I demurred. Then she said "Well it's really because chicken pox can lead to other more serious diseases. But I encourage you to do your own research - I'm sure you'll make the most responsible choice."
...
Was that a thinly veiled implication that to choose not to get the chicken pox vaccine is to be irresponsible?
Not thrilled.
Pic from vacation - we went to this awesome zoo that had an exhibit with colorful birds. You could buy bird seed on a popsicle stick, which would make the bird come to you! Great idea - Zuzu was entranced and tried to grab several.
-2-
I went to Goodwill the other day and scored a bunch of classics for $.99! War and Peace, the Old Man and the Sea, Wuthering Heights, Around the World in Eighty Days...plus some old blankets to use for batting, some cute blankets to use for quilting, and some cloth napkins (nearly all of our cloth napkins come from Goodwill - people are always divesting themselves of them, and I am only too happy to snap them up at 50 cents a piece).
Now I've got some reading to do!
Uncle Tom knows how to hang with toddlers.
-3-
As Zuzu gets older, I'm trying to become more conscious of my screen time...I read Elizabeth Foss write that when her kids are awake, she tries very hard not to be on a screen - be it computer, phone, or television. That's quite a commitment! I'm a little embarassed to say that since I read that, I've realized just how easy it is for me to "just check something real quick."
I don't want to be that way - I don't want her to think the most important thing to me is my phone! The sad fact is that when she was born, and nursing so frequently, I got into the habit of reading articles on my phone....but she's big now. She might like some friendly mealtime conversation, or at the very least, some meaningful eye contact.
This one is getting bumped up on my to-do list.
Baby goat, meet baby Zuzu (please don't eat her hat).
-4-
With that said, I feel like I'm burned out on the Catholic blogosphere. I'm taking too much in that isn't giving anything back. It's like I'm in an echo chamber where I keep hearing the same things over and over again.
"The problem with the Church is..."
"My kids ate poop again"
"I just custom designed a liturgically appropriate celebration out of dust and popsicle sticks!"
There a few authentic voices out there that I'm going to keep myself tuned into, but I've decided that it's okay to be picky about whose voice I'm letting into my life at every moment. I am so glad that everyone can have a niche in the blogosphere, but it's okay if I am not the reader of every niche.
Sometimes at the end of the day, I don't want to know.
Cousin Gabi and Zuzu love-fest!
Love squeezing these girls!
-5-
Also in my desire to have an outside chance at the lowest rung of purgatory is my decision to get off the
"nobody appreciates us orthodox Catholic baby-having people - we deserve stickers" band wagon. I don't need medals or approbations from every priest, old lady at the grocery store, or cranky relative when I am doing the bare minimum that God asks me to do.
Yes, it often seems like a lot, but I think that's a problem with my perception, not my actual level of effort or energy put into being faithful. I don't want to seem stingy in giving back to God, I don't want to insist that everyone recognizes how great I am for being a faithful Catholic, and I don't want to stand in front of Christ on the Cross complaining about how people can be mean sometimes.
It's just not the attitude I want to have (even though...it often is the attitude I *do* have).
Zuzu made THIS FACE all during vacation! Her scrunched up cheeser face!
I think it's a great visual representation of my bad attitude.
-6-
Lighter topics!
Am giving serious thought to investing (can we really call this an investment piece?) in a petty coat. Y'know, those garments that make your skirts uber-full? I like that look and it goes with my hair. Plus, if I wear any kind of a skirt, Zuzu keeps occupied for hours trying to catch it and eat it - so, it's also a built in baby toy.
I am nothing if not frugal.
Two men and a baby - Zuzu with her Daddy and Grampy
-7-
I've been thinking lately - over and over and over - how blessed my family is by our general situation. My husband's job, job flexibility, my ability to be home with Zuzu, to even have Zuzu, our wonderful parish community, great supportive extended families. There is so much difficulty for some families based on situations they cannot control - a job far away, long hours, the necessity for the mother to work, a longing for babies that is not satisfied.
Everything is gift, and I have so many gifts. I am trying to focus on being generous with what I have been given - generosity in thought, by giving the benefit of the doubt to all I meet; generous in action, by being more hospitable to those in my community; generous with my love, by being kind to my family and those closest to me.
My little thoughtful baby at the Tampa Aquarium
