Goals I Never Thought I'd Reach

I apologize for the theme that I will be harping on for probably the next month, the I-can't-believe-my-child-is-a-year-old theme.

I knew she was growing, of course, could see the changes in her day by day and week by week. But somehow, it all felt so far off - all that big kid stuff. She still curls in my lap to nurse, I wear her around the house, she doesn't talk. But then last week she took three steps! Then again and again she did it. Now suddenly she wants to sit at her high chair and eat whole bowls of pasta while demolishing a sippy cup. Where did my baby go?

Teeeny tiiiiny!

Before we got pregnant, when I wondered if children were in God's plan for us, I mentally made myself comfortable with the idea of never being pregnant. I thought about the good works we could do with our extra time and money, I knew we would look into adoption, and I knew that if it was God's will, there would be peace and joy in my heart. But I always viewed it as two choices: a childless life OR a life bursting with children. I thought I'd either be barren or Grace Patton (i.e., many smaller children very close in age).

But it looks like I'm not. It looks like I'm one of those women for whom ecological breastfeeding works REALLY REALLY WELL. i.e., a baby can only come when my cycle returns, i.e., super sorry for the overshare Dad, i.e., maybe I'll ovulate when Zuzu weans, sometime before her freshmen year of high school (was that crossing a line? are you grossed out, Jen? Coll? Sorry!).

I have to make peace with a whole bunch of new ideas about my family. That Zuzu and her siblings might be spaced further apart, that I may have fewer children as a result of that spacing, or that I could have no more children (secondary infertility IS a thing). Isn't it so dumb? You think I'd get it by now - God is in charge of my family! Mr. Oram and I started our life together with the understanding that he always would be, that we would trust him with our family size. But I always thought that would be stoically accepting my childless state while aging gracefully, or blissfully embracing the craziness of six kids in seven years while being able to blame any lingering 10 pounds on constantly being postpartum. I didn't think it'd be smiling graciously through the three-inquiries-in-a-row of "isn't it time she get a sibling?"

I keep trying to type more, but what comes out is not good so I think I'll sign off without any great message or closure.

Just didn't think I'd hit my baby's first birthday without being pregnant.

10 Lessons in 5 Days

It's hard to believe, but already Zuzu has been physically separate from me for five whole days! (every day at the time of her birth, we eat chocolate cake...this is not a sustainable habit) It has been a whirlwind five days, the longest and shortest of my life, and so to summarize, here are the top ten things I have learned in these five days:

1. Birth changes you. I knew it would, but I didn't really know it yet - and I didn't know how. But I do now. I know that birth has made me respect and love my body more than ever before; it has given me a confidence and comfort in my shape and scars. I have been surprised to find that I do not mind the stretch marks or jiggly skin, the wider hips or the pouchy belly. I know I will never look the same, but I am proud. My body is a wonder, and I hope I won't ever again let anyone convince me that it isn't.

2. There is such thing as love at first sight. I had read birth stories - I know that parents say the love you feel for your child is just instantaneous and amazing. But it did sound really cheesy...and I wasn't sure if I was that kind of woman. But I am. What I didn't realize was that the love I feel for Zuzu, that I am sure all parents feel for their children, is just different than any other kind of love; it is a sudden and total concern for their well-being at every moment. Indeed, the love of a parent for a child is a model of love for all relationships, because true love is when we will the Best Good for the Beloved. In this age of objectification and selfishness, it takes work to love someone like this - until I had Zuzu it did anyway. Now it is second nature; my daughter has taught me how to love as God loves.

3. Every baby, and family, and birth, and everything, is unique. There are guidelines for everything - feeding, sleeping, birthing, recovery, bonding - but then there is the reality that each individual family experiences. The best part about being in a cocoon with my Susannah, Mr. O, my mom, and Jen has been that we can just figure things out - do things our way, figure out what works for us. I am embracing the freedom of creating my family and it's wonderful.

4. Having a baby is the foreshadowing of the Beatific Vision. The concept of the Beatific Vision has always puzzled me - that Heaven will be the eternal beholding of the face of God. It sounds beautiful, but for me as a finite being, it is also confusing - why would I want to look at anything for all of eternity? What good is there in just beholding something? Now I know. I could look at my child for hours - hours! I have to tell myself to go to sleep at night when she is asleep, when I would rather just look at her and marvel at her existence. When one is truly in love, the vision of the Beloved is consuming.

5. Children are an unmerited grace. I realize now that although Tom and I were allowed to participate in her creation, that Susannah is entirely from God, and entirely a gift, and entirely a blessing. There is a reason why Scripture only speaks of children as a blessing! Because they are, and what is more, they are one we could never hope to deserve. As I hold her, I know that there is nothing I could ever do to merit the honor of being her mother.

This is Mr. O's favorite thing about being a dad to a newborn - unlimited cuddle time!

6. My vocation is marriage and motherhood. I think everyone has those moments - those, am I really doing what God is asking me to do? moments. And although I have the incredible grace of being deliriously happy in my marriage, I have still had my moments where I wondered - did I insist on my will, or was this God's will? Now that she's here, I know. This is my calling - this is my road to sanctification - and it's so incredibly good!

7. Different does not mean worse. I had a good deal of curiosity, as y'all know, about the changes to my marriage. Although obviously there will be more changes as she grows and as our family grows, I know now - different is not worse. My husband and I's relationship has changed forever, but it is not worse. I still love him desperately, I still enjoy cuddling him and watching bad TV, I am still concerned about his well-being and happiness. Now we just have this amazing child that bonds us even more...now we get to share in our own mini-beatific vision. Now we are even more like those disciples on the Road to Emmaus, because we share this experience of parenthood, and so now can turn to one another and say "does not your heart burn within you?"

8. Beauty is not able to be bought or sold. Nothing is more beautiful than my child and my ability to care for her. I carried her, birthed her, and now feed her with my body. Her every sigh and smile is my delight. No one can bottle that and sell it, no one can change it with the changing trends, no one can even mar it with unkind words. Beauty is not at all what I thought it was - it is deeper.

9. It really does take a village. I have no idea what these five days would have been like without the absolute cadre of help we have received! From my incredible neighbors who came over and cleaned our house after we left for the birth center, to my mom who has cooked and cleaned every day since baby arrived (all while making sure I was drinking and caring for myself), to my amazing friend Jen (who cut her fun roadtrip short when Zuzu made it clear she wasn't waiting for anyone) who has helped me bathe, patiently kept me company though nursing hormones make me a little weird, and even tolerated my weird obsession with chocolate cake, I wouldn't have been able to do any of this without our community that supports our new little family. We have received an outpouring of love, well-wishes, gifts, and prayers that have sustained us and magnified our joy.

10. Life is beautiful. Babies are a witness to the beauty of life itself - just being alive is incredible. Nothing proves it more than the smile of a child. Who wouldn't agree?

Susannah having a chatty morning

The Dirty on the Diapers

So before I tell you all about my newbie foray into cloth diapers, let me first give a huge thank you to my family. Not only did my sister Kim throw me an incredible baby shower this past weekend, but my siblings and parents went in together on our travel system stroller and carseat. I literally cried when I found out; this was such a huge gift to us and a big weight off our shoulders! Thank you for your generosity and practical gifts!

I remind myself of this when I want to get all crazy about baby gear.

Onto the dirty business. So I want to cloth diaper because I'm cheap and the idea of diapers in landfills does freak me out a little bit. But where to start? I had no clue, and all the diaper websites were super confusing. So here are my best intro tips for newbies regarding cloth diapering...and if you have any wisdom, please share!

1. Confusing Terminology: I am still figuring it all out, to say NOTHING of all the crazy abbreviations that make it way harder for me. So here's my one special tip: y'know how there are cloth diapers that you have to pin on your child and then add a cover? Okay, there are at least two types of those (pre-folds and fitteds). Fitteds have fasteners already so you don't need pins. It took me a long time to figure this out (don't judge).

2. Special care: You can't just treat cloth diapers like regular laundry. When you buy new ones, you have to prep them - usually by washing them a few times without detergent, but just follow the directions that come with them. You also have to use special detergent, apparently, but there are several mainstream brands that are okay - just google it. Also, you can't use a lot of regular diaper rash creams with them because they'll hurt the absorbency of the diaper. And lastly, if they're starting to be less absorbent or hold a bad smell, you'll need to "strip" them - which I gathered is sort of like prepping them again? Again, google is your friend.

3. Newborns are special: So most diapers are sized by weight but some are OS (one size). But even one sized diapers only fit when babies are 8 pounds usually - so if you're planning on cloth diapering from day 1 and you tend to have babies under 8 pounds, this might leave you needing to buy some NB (newborn) diapers anyway. The advantages to NB diapers are apparently pretty sweet - the little legs fit tighter, so there's less leakage (especially of explosive poos). While buying special diapers for a short period of time might seem aggravating, some people have small babies that don't gain weight quickly so may get better life out of these. If it's your first babe and you're shooting in the dark, good luck. We're going to use the disposables that have been gifted to us at first, and we'll see if she's small enough for NB sizes or if she can go straight to our OS diapers.

4. There are 10 billion ways to do this. The brands are endless as are the places from which to purchase them. Some are cheaper ($8) and from China; others use organic bamboo cotton and are made in America but pricier ($30). So make choices depending on what's important to you and buy several different brands. If you don't like one brand, then either wait to see if it works for the next baby or sell it on a site like Diaper Swappers. Most families who CD (cloth diaper) have tons of different kinds of diapers and like different ones for different times of life (bedtime, newborns, toddlers, skinny babies, chunksters, etc.); don't think there's one perfect diaper company you need to find and stick with forever.

5. Internet knows all. I have no idea how anyone CD before the internet! Any questions you have, just google and you'll get ten million blogs and sites that have good information. The only problem can be that a lot of it is opinion (as in, what's the best diaper for NBs? everyone has a different idea) and that there's not a whole lot of places that have all the info in one place. I haven't found a cure for that yet. For what it's worth, I have found All About Cloth Diapers to be a very helpful site.

6. You can register for them! At two of the major baby registry sites, Target and Babies R' Us, you can register for cloth diapers from several reputable companies (BumGenius, Thirsties, gDiapers). That means that even if no one chooses to buy them for you, you get a discount at the end of your registry (10% off at Target, 15% off at BRU) and you can of course use those handy gift cards.

I doubt many of my readers will find this helpful since most of you know far more about this than I do, but in case you were curious, here it is. Standby for part II of this post, which will be in two months, after baby has come and I have some experience wrangling my poop-covered offspring.

How to Raise Children

Baby-day is drawing closer: I'm already 36 wks, so as of this coming Saturday, I'll be considered full-time and have the green-light to go into labor at any time. Squeeee!! Mr. O and I are getting SUPER excited to meet our daughter...

Since I have between 4-6 weeks left until she comes, I've been stepping up my reading of the parenting books and blogs. I gave a cursory reading to French Children Eat Everything, am doing a slower re-read of Dr. Greg Popcak's Parenting with Grace and also of Catholic Homeschooling by Mary Kay Clark. All three books have some great ideas and at the very least, raise many concepts to be discussed and considered by parents regarding the formation of your children. You can tell my greatest preoccupations for my off-spring: making sure they are well-formed in how to eat, how to pray, and how to learn. I have my priorities!

I wouldn't mind if they learned a few of these things from a local, run-by-nuns, affordable, orthodox Catholic school...but that's not in the cards in our area! 

I find myself fascinated with the preoccupation of myself and obviously, millions of others, with the "proper" way to raise children. I haven't lived in any time but this one (until I get that darned time-machine working!), so I find myself wondering if there was this sort of thought process years ago. Was there ever one standard formula for parenting, or were there many that were just unconsciously passed down within cultures or families?

Mr. O and I's marriage is, blessedly, harmonious. We are very similar in our tastes and habits, and where we are different, we have found it fairly easy to accommodate one another. One of the aspects of my marriage that we both work very hard at is courtesy - we strive to always be overly civil to one another, saying not only please and thank you, but seeking to meet one another's needs before we are asked. Small touches, like noticing when one or the other needs water or offering to do a chore when we know the other is tired, make our marriage sweet indeed. These are attributes that we choose to consciously embrace; we talked about these behaviors during our courtship and have lived them out in our marriage, by God's grace!

But now we are wondering if it will be the same when our children come. We cannot predict how we will actually behave under real-life conditions and as a friend of mine is fond of saying, "I was the perfect parent before I had children!" Of course, our ability to set a course of behavior for marriage was easier because we know one another - we could ask of one another a standard of behavior. But children have no such ability to consent and conform, especially when they are just wee babes. Children come into the world with their own personalities. I am looking forward to the testing of my theories, but hopeful that the changes children bring to my marriage will not be negative.

For those of you with wee ones, how did your parenting theories hold up and did your marriage change for good? To what degree do you re-evaluate your methods with each new child? I know so many wonderful mothers here in the blogosphere, so do share your wisdom - so I have something to ponder on my upcoming sleepless nights!

Discrimination v. Common Sense?

That seems to be the way the debate is framed over the American University professor who brought her baby to class and breastfed her. You can read the WaPo article or I can give you the highlights: single mom wakes up the morning of the first day of class to discover her baby has a slight fever, which means daycare is out, so what should she do? Cancel class and take a sick day, or bring her baby with her to the 75 minute lecture that kicks off her feminist anthropology class? She chose the latter.

So now we have one group brandishing feminist pitchforks and yelling, "it's her right, this is why women hit obstacles in their professional lives!" (discrimination) and the other side sticking their noses in the air and huffing, "it's unprofessional" (which they frame as common sense).

Maybe AU could've solved the issue by posting signs like these in the classrooms?

I'm not a, uh, lactivist (that's the term, right...) I don't think. I probably don't want to breastfeed in front of the whole world. But I still think I side with the pitchforking feminists. Here's why: despite my post the other day on how the pro-life movement isn't defined by our feelings on government-mandated charity, I do think there are policies and attitudes that move us towards a more pro-life culture that do not touch directly on abortion. That's not to say that you have to embrace these ideas in order to call yourself pro-life, but more that it might help to consider creative ways to transform culture towards being more pro-woman and pro-child.

I think this is one of those cases.

Rosie wore a button-down just for breastfeeding purposes, obviously.

The medical establishment finally has gotten something right and recognizes that breast is best (something God knew from the beginning, but since doctors think they're God they sometimes get confused about natural law) - and the Church encourages this. The Church also recognizes the incredible value of women in the workplace (see especially section 4 of that letter): that women ought to be encouraged to use their God-given talents to enrich the world. But sometimes, being a mother and having a job conflict. In these cases, it might be a good idea to have some flexibility so that women feel supported in their decisions. This doesn't mean that all women can breastfeed at work, necessarily; for some jobs in particular it would be disastrous (parish organist comes to mind...now THAT would be multitasking!). But it does mean that if a situation like this arose, the University could shrug it's shoulders and say "it happens." She took her child to work, once, for extenuating circumstances, and while the child was there, it needed to eat. Shouldn't that just be the end of the story?

There's some speculation that this lady did it for show. Sure, that's possible. But the principle can be discussed nonetheless. If we really believe that women should be part of the workplace, and we really believe that children should be breastfed, then maybe we need to craft policies that recognize this reality (there was a good post on this a few years ago at the ever-wonderful Blacktating). Women can't be separated from who they are biologically; we can't say we want women's brains, but not the rest of their bodies. This is the feminism that is stupid: respect women because we can act like men! No, respect women holistically by restructuring some aspects of society to value what does not have a price tag. If we say we want women to be able to have families and work, simultaneously, then we need to recognize that the workplace will have to change. Because we can't make our boobs detachable.

My inspiration is Italian Parliament member Licia Ronzulli, proudly wearing her baby while attending a session of Parliament to vote. 

The Most Catholic Family Ever

I'm competitive - about some things (rugby, feats of strength, academics, manners). Mr. Oram and I are competitive with each other - mostly about academics. But one thing that he always laughs at, is the fact that I can make my Catholicism competitive.

When we went on our pre-Cana retreat, I tweeted something to effect "Tom says this isn't a contest for the most Catholic couple, but I'm not fooled. We're here to WIN." Every time the couples leading the retreat asked questions, I had my hand raised. Hermione Granger in her first year at Hogwarts? Absolutely.

I am an insufferable know-it-all in any formal situation where certificates are awarded. And as it turns out, even when there aren't any certificates at all...even when no one else is paying attention...even when the competition is just in my twisted little mind...

I told Mr. O that I wanted our children's names to be definitively Catholic. No wishy-washy Catholic-code names here! We're going to prove just how Catholic we are by naming our children things that say "look, we are rosary-praying, daily-Mass-going, Pope-loving CATHOLICS." I really wasn't that worried; afterall, we don't have stiff competition, since most of our friends just give their children names that are meaningful to them and usually a Catholic middle name (now that I write that it out, it sounds so normal and appealing...). But then Mr. O sent me an article about an acquaintance's professional success; at the end of the article, it gave a short bio and listed the names of his six children:

Benedict. Sebastian. Scholastica. Athanasius. Magnus. Gemma.

Say WHAT? Not only does this person have the jump on us in fertility, which is obviously the easiest way to prove how holy you are, but they pulled out the BIG guns on names - Scholastica? Athanasius?? How am I supposed to compete with that!!? (by the way, I would like to note that I was lobbying for Athanasius because we knew Baby O was/is a Baby O'Girl and Scholastica has long been a cherished favorite, completely squashed by my obviously-not-as-Catholic-as-I-am husband)

Mr. Oram quickly realized his mistake as I repeated each of the names with huge saucer like eyes. He knows the maniacal, will-win-at-any-cost look I get, and quickly acted to head me off at the pass. "Look, we're not going to beat them at this point. The best we can do is tie, okay? Lets just shoot for a tie." Unfortunately, this is a very poor strategy to take with crazies like me...tying is not a viable option. I will either be beaten to a bloody pulp, unable to stand, or I will triumph over your twitching corpse. (ok maybe that analogy was excessive...I am in no way threatening this person's children... unfortunately, I mostly view competition in terms of physical combat)

Physical combat like this, from the movie 300, one of my favs. I know, I fail at genteel Catholic womanhood.

So although we had a couple of perfectly acceptable names that combined our Catholicism, respect for family tradition, and love for Roman history, now I feel I am back to square one. I have to find names that project an image: we are a family that is more Catholic than you are. We are the MOST Catholic family, ever. That way, when we run into this acquaintance, he will understand that although we have just one child so far, we are playing in his league and we are here to WIN. So while his wonderfully named children go off and join the Jesuits or non-habited nuns, OURS are going to be Franciscan Friars of the Renewal and Nashville Dominicans!

(Note: This is probably the reason that my husband wisely doesn't want out NFP-related decisions left up to me; having children to win a competition is, I am sure, one of the fastest ways to ruin a marriage and any hope of getting to Heaven)

You experienced moms out there are probably laughing at me, shaking your  heads - maybe you want to tell me, "by the time you have six kids, you'll be lucky if you remember ANY of their names - Catholic or not - and you'll mostly be happy if they'd all just be quiet at the same time." But I know different. I am young and inexperienced and overly-optimistic, and I just know that my six overtly-Catholicly named children will be shining examples of manners, academic prowess, rugby agility, and faith. Right!?! 


***Please if anyone takes this post totally seriously, do not comment - just content yourself with thinking bad things about me for the rest of your natural life. You could even pray for me. I am obviously a horrible person.

Homeschooling in Danger?

There's a great article in First Things entitled "The Freedom to Homeschool." (I highly encourage a read; it's actually short.) What I found most egregious about this article was not anything in its writing, but the comments. Many of the commenters seem to believe that because they have met inept homeschooling families, that the State should step in - y'know, save us all from awkward social interaction! 

Nothing like a Gosling meme to get things started...

I thought I would post some of my thoughts on homeschooling as well as some of my concerns with State regulation of home education. State-run education has become something of a joke in my mind, to be honest; as a graduate of a public high school (albeit some 10 years ago) and with my mom a public high school teacher, I feel my interaction with the system is adequate to form an opinion. Public schools here in Florida function as babysitters. Once in a while, there is a match made in heaven when a competent teacher is given students who are interested in the material and have a good support network; most of the time, it is the less fun match of a competent teacher with completely unengaged students, or the abysmal pairing of an apathetic teacher and a buzzed-out student body. I see public schools as largely a last resort, whose harmful effects can be partially mitigated by highly involved and motivated families. 

As a gal who was homeschooled myself and plans to homeschool my own children, I have to say that homeschooling is indeed a precarious right. Homeschoolers often face nosy neighbors that call DCF because they notice the children aren't attending public school; they are the subject of suspicion by many in government authority. Many are threatened with the loss of their children for perceived "negligence" that really functions as mere pretext for government punishment of their education choices. We certainly experienced this.

And my parents weren't religious. They were secular hippies, who wanted their children to develop their imaginations - not exactly the incompetent zealots of leftist nightmares.

I would say "my poor parents!" but they were always pretty much loners among parents...I don't think the years have really changed much. 

All these anecdotes concerning homeschooled children are besides the point. At issue is not whether anyone thinks homeschooled children are weird or "poorly socialized"; I am sure everyone can agree that there are odd ducks in every educational institution. The question is, do parents have the right to educate their children and if so, how much that right is subject to regulation by the state?

In theory, I agree with state regulation of home education. In practice, there are many potential problems. The government has its own interests; I am not entirely sure we can trust it to be looking out for the best interests of children. Governments, by their nature, want to increase their power, and that means their control over its citizens and their pocket books. This applies to all levels of government, but the federal government is truly out of control in its mad grab for power. Now, through its overbearing and unnecessary Department of Education, the fed frequently coerces state action and standards in regards to education - actions and standards that may not work in all states at all times. States must be free to set their own regulations for education because few things are as personal; states have varying educational needs due to huge differences in population size, demographics, and taxing structures, to say nothing of the actual desires of their citizens. I really wish former President Reagan, RIP, could have completely dismantled the DOE; as it stands now, it's a pointless drain on our stressed out federal budget. With any luck, candidates Ryan and Romney will have the stones to do it. 

Furthermore, the state (by this I refer to nation-states, meaning any level of government in a sovereign nation) is by its very nature slow moving, and its regulations overly-broad. It is not an entity given to narrowly tailored regulations with appropriate exceptions and expediency of process. We all know this; we know this because of our experiences with any number of government entities - the DMV, the Dept. of Children and Families, the court system, applications for state/federal aid, student loans, or public services such as utilities. When a violation of a regulation is charged, getting it resolved often costs great time and money, and in the case of parents and children, it doesn't matter if the parents are found to be in the right in the end. Government workers are famously devoid of compassion, common sense, and any level of efficiency - which prolongs an already arduous process. Vindication then comes only after the total desecration of any normal family life for an indeterminate period of time, possibly even years.

It is for these reasons I am in favor of home education that is entirely unregulated by the federal government and regulated only very narrowly by the State, with narrow powers of punishment at their disposal. State regulation is a tool citizens should be very careful in using in matters that require delicacy and discretion, such as this; it is a that is tool is blunt and inexact, and once invited in, is most assuredly there to stay, long after it has outlived its usefulness.

The Horror of Forgetting

As a history major in college, I was most fascinated with all the events that were pretty much a big deal, of which most of my friends (and myself until I took the classes) were blissfully ignorant. Now as an adult, I feel I am surrounded by events that I know nothing of: despite going to an excellent pre-college prepatory program, getting a BA in history and politics, graduate studies in theology, and a law degree, I had to learn about the Rwandan genocide myself. It was never mentioned in all the academia I participated in. Y'know what else I had never learned about?

The Munich Massacre. 

My husband commented today that his father refused to watch the Olympics since 1972. Rather than show my ignorance, I just nodded nonchalantly and quickly googled "1972 Olympics." Imagine my horror in discovering:

On September 5, 1972, during the second week of the Olympic games in Munich, Germany, 11 Israeli coaches and athletes were taken prisoner by Palestinian terrorists (perhaps in retaliation for the International Olympic Committee refusing to admit them to the Olympic Games). All eleven were eventually killed, the entire situation mishandled by the German authorities who were so intent on showing how different they were from the 1939 Berlin games that they had 3 snipers for 8 terrorists. The IOC didn't cancel the games even after the massacre; those Arab nations that balked at having their flags lowered to half mast in the Olympic stadium were quickly appeased. Jordan was alone among the Arab nations in denouncing the attacks. German authorities have never apologized, and in fact refused to tell the athletes families how their loved ones had died until a whistle-blower released the documents.

This year, the 40th anniversary of these senseless deaths, the IOC refused a minute of silence to honor the innocent athletes. They claim that to do so would be to make the Olympics "political" and might offend those delegates who are anti-Israel.

Is this what happens when we forget? 

There is a great irony that the IOC, run largely by European countries, is perpetuating appeasement - the same historical attitude shown by Western leaders towards dictators that landed the entire world on the brink of destruction in the years of World War II. What did not work for them will not work for us. One never gets rid of a bully by letting them bully you - it only makes them hunger for more.

When we forget that there is a right and wrong in the world, when we lose our moral moorings, when we find it is more convenient to appease bullies than take a few on the chin, we lose who we are as human beings. Human beings are made for greatness! Greater causes, greater loves, greater adventures. When we cannot grasp this reality, that we were made for the grand adventure of pursuing Goodness,  we lose the ability on ever-increasing levels to recognize anything as good. And when nothing is good, nothing is worthy of protection, nothing is honored, nothing is passed on. Nothing matters when nothing is good.

We can never forget that evil is real. We must never cease to tell the children at our knees real stories of real horror: that once there were bad men, but that we beat them. That they will come again and we will beat them again. That we can never hate them, but we must be firm in our resolve against what they perpetrate and proclaim. We must resolve in our hearts, pray with our lips, live our lives welded to the principle that  when evil comes, as it always will, that we will refuse to bend the knee to it. Not bend the knee by forgetting our beloved dead, nor by silently allowing their vitriol, nor refusing to meet them on the field of battle. There can be no compromise with evil, and we must never forget that.