My Head is Exploding

Whelp, it's Friday morning. Today my in-laws are leaving, after 9 nights and 10 days of staying in our house. Later today, I am driving east (3 hours). That's because I am staying with friends overnight, because I have a huge exam tomorrow (MPRE - ethical portion of the Bar), on that side of the coast. Also! We were invited to a swanky-swanky gala thing tomorrow night, so tomorrow after the MPRE, I will drive 3 hours home, and get ready to go to a black-tie ball.

Did I mention that normally, getting out of bed and making breakfast makes me exhausted??

So, in about lets say 30 hours, I have to do the following things: study for my test (haha right not done doing that yet!), drive 3 hours there, find a floor-length dress that makes me feel attractive and doesn't cost a bajillion dollars (which will be quite a feat when all I feel is bloated and acne-prone), get a hair cut (no really this has to happen), at least get the chipped polish off my nails if not re-painting them let alone get a manicure, make sure the dress I find is either the right length (hahaha) or get it hemmed (I'm 5 feet tall!), get my picture taken at CVS (MPRE requires a passport sized picture), take the damn test, drive back 3 hours, hopefully take a nap, get ready for the gala, and then show up, looking not angry at these people for making me spend time and money just to show up looking half as horrible as I usually do. All of this, and all I'm hoping for is to pass the test and that no one will post pictures of the gala online so I never have to think about how I actually looked (in my head, I can pretend I was strutting it like Angelina Jolie, pre-leg psychotics).

In case you missed it...she did this all.night.long.

And yet despite all this, gentle readers, I have not only taken the time to write to you, but I am also going to direct you this lovely gem of an article I found on the internet. And because you all know that I am so hesitant to say what I think, I might as well come out and say: I disagree.

I grew up with a mom who never fed me fast food and didn't let me watch television. I grew up rarely getting less than an A and not disobeying my parents. Part of it, I'm sure, was my temperament, but part it was also knowing that my mother expected nothing less. For the record, my husband was exactly the same way (maybe that's why we like each other so much)...and so was his sister. I then went on to nanny for a woman who did the same thing with her kids. I have friends who parent this way as well. I wouldn't say I judge people who do differently as in thinking "you're a bad parent" but if I hear people say "I want to do that, but it's just not possible" my first thought is, "oh, you don't want to parent that way, okay."

Now wait! I'm this way with myself too. I completely believe I was lazy in law school and that's why I wasn't in the top 10. No amount of justification on anyone else's part can convince my otherwise. If you really want something, you do it. If I really wanted it, I would have gotten it. I believe I am not in the shape I want to be in because of my laziness and that this same laziness is the source of my less-than-stellar prayer life. I do not blame anything or anyone else; I blame myself.

I feel this should be the same thing with parenting. If you are not parenting the way you want to, then it's your own fault. Granted, some things we need to let go of (no one will be as clean as they think they will be when they're parents - no one), but in general, if not watching TV or no fast food, is really important to you, you would make it happen! This is the way people operate. All of these women lamenting that they can't parent the way they want are the ones that also make time for girls' trips to the beach, to have successful careers, to fit in their pre-pregnancy jeans - goals that are big achievements! These aren't lazy people. They are women who make decisions about what they will always do and what they will let go. They have decided that parenting, because it involves not only disciplining yourself, but also others, is too hard and so they will let go of some of their ideals. They don't want it bad enough.

I think this is acceptable - it's a part of life to realize what we can compromise on and what we can't. But lets not waste time saying that it's just part of parenting that we park our kids in front of TVs or feed them fast food. It's not. It's part of what these people have decided their parenting will be.

Now! Having enraged everyone just enough to ensure rabid anger, I am back to my exploding head! Adios!