Wednesday, October 24, 2012

My Newborn Has No Schedule

We are very blessed in that we have a huge community that is providing wonderful support to us as we figure out this parenting-thing! That means people bringing meals, helping around the house, good substitutes for my husband at work...and everyone wants to know before they stop by, when is a good time? This is a great question! It is considerate and appropriate! I love people who are both of those things!

But unfortunately, I have no answer.

I don't think that a 12-day old baby is supposed to have a schedule. It was my general impression that babies this young are still figuring out the world; they're still getting the hang of basic bodily functions, input and output, and aren't really ready to be part of the timed world. So any time I say could end up being a "bad" time - she could be nursing (which I've found makes some people uber-uncomfortable!), she could be sleeping (which then makes everyone sad because they wanted to hold her), or I could be in my pajamas (which means baby and I will be hiding in my room at the sound of the door bell).

This is my adorable child. ADORABLE. 

I have already received some advice on helping her get "on schedule." The greatest areas of scheduling for a newborn (since they're not popping out to do yogalates or anything) are sleeping and eating. And the top bit of sleep advice has been that I should swaddle her to help her sleep. And herein I reveal my horrific mothering: I hate swaddling. I do not know how Zuzu feels about it, having tried it a grand total of twice, but I hate it. Can I tell you why? Because it makes my child look like an amputee. It does. It frightens me! I think, oh my gosh, this is what she would look like with no arms!! Besides, her little hands and fingers are so sweet and kissable, why would I put them away? She doesn't have trouble sleeping - she just doesn't want to sleep in her bassinet...or anywhere besides on my chest, or right next to me. Which would be fine, except when she sleeps on me, I can't sleep, because I have nightmares about suffocating her (and she is a SQUIRMY and NOISY sleeper). And when I can't sleep, I turn into a basket case (for real - the other night I got like two seconds of sleep and cried the whole next day about basically nothing).

Look at that sassy hand - how could I restrict it?? It should be free - freeeeee! 

So as I am trying to get the hang of parenting, I am open to advice. If anyone wants to tell me the wonders of swaddling or how to co-sleep without blind terror taking over, I'm all ears. Because y'know, my newborn is just so unscheduled.


  1. I can't see the pictures. :-(

    No advice for you on the scheduling thing. But glad you are enjoying your new daughter. :-)

    1. I just discovered it's not visible in Chrome, although it works fine in Safari. Not sure about internet explorer. I'll fix it. Thanks for letting me know!!

  2. 2 babies so I'm certainly no expert. Plus we're weird. No really. No eating schedules, no napping schedules, and gasp.. no bedtime. We have routines but that's it. So my advice...try swaddling a few more times, maybe it will help her sleep in her bassinet but if not, that's OK. I freaked about sleeping w/ babies, certain I would squash them. So at first I set up a boundary. Once he was asleep I laid him next to me and put the skinniest pillow we had between us. Or I would put pillows around my body when he slept on my chest. Did I mention we are weird?? But by the time he was a few months old, and from the beginning w/ number 2 we calmed down. By we I mean husband was sure I was a nut. ;-)

    You're doing great! Your baby is beautiful and I can't wait until she has petals. ;-)

    1. No schedules at all!?! Anarchists!! :)

      I am looking forward to the day we can be back on a schedule and a routine. I LOVE routines!!

      And I am totally pickin' up what you're puttin' down - Zuzu's petals!! :D

  3. I must be an anarchist too, because my babies don't have schedules either, not when they are babies anyway. We have a general routine, but no schedule, other than that they go to bed at the time every night (same time I do).

    I also hate swaddling and never do it, but I do co-sleep and that works really well. I'm not sure how you can co-sleep w/o terror. I've never worried about rolling over ont he baby and am more anxious when I don't co-sleep as I wake up to check their breathing every 5 seconds, but I don't worry if they are right next to me. I basically nurse them to sleep lying down so they end up sleeping right next to me in the position all night with occasionally be switched to the other side.

    And, I totally dont' worry if my nursing makes someone uncomfortable. I find that if I feel comfortable nursing, other people basically do too or they get used to it or something.


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