Obligatory New Years Resolution Post

I'm not big on resolutions, probably because I fail so often. But this year is special for a few reasons: I have more time and money than I usually did as a student, and this year I turn 27. Uh, twenty-seven is not a significant number, Martha.   Yes, yes I hear you, but it's significant to me! When I was thirteen, my eldest sister was twenty-seven and I completely idolized her. I thought she was so beautiful, her kids so sweet, her life so perfect. Now in retrospect I realize her life was not perfect (whose is??), but my sister's sweetness and kindness was such a model for me about the kind of person and mother I wanted to be. I thought to myself, "when I'm twenty-seven, I hope I'm like Kim."

My sister and I at my undergraduate graduation. I'm so excited I'm eating my tassel.

And here it is, folks! This is the YEAR. And I'm...much less like Kim than I always wanted to be. I don't think I'm very sweet, I have no children on earth, and my sister is still way better looking than me (but I think that's just genes). So although I can't say I have a resolution like "be sweeter!", I have a general idea in my head: make this year worthy of twenty-seven.

Katherine over at "Having Left the Altar" has a great post about her new years resolutions that definitely inspired me. I recommend you read the post yourself, but she talks about choosing a word for the year, a word that sort of guides your intentions for that year and focuses you. I'm big on amorphous concepts that involve abstract thinking that one has to apply concretely, so this really appealed to me. I chose the word Humility. Ugh, really? Yes, really. I have noticed lately that I have lost some of the joy in losing myself; I have forgotten the importance of being least and last. To help me towards this goal, I have resurrected the hardest and best prayer ever: The Litany of Humility! ::cue trumpets:: Check it out:

O Jesus! meek and humble of heart,Hear me.

From the desire of being esteemed,

Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being loved...

From the desire of being extolled ...

From the desire of being honored ...

From the desire of being praised ...

From the desire of being preferred to others...

From the desire of being consulted ...

From the desire of being approved ...

From the fear of being humiliated ...

From the fear of being despised...

From the fear of suffering rebukes ...

From the fear of being calumniated ...

From the fear of being forgotten...

From the fear of being ridiculed ...

From the fear of being wronged ...

From the fear of being suspected ...

That others may be loved more than I,

Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be esteemed more than I ...

That, in the opinion of the world,

others may increase and I may decrease ...

That others may be chosen and I set aside ...

That others may be praised and I unnoticed ...

That others may be preferred to me in everything...

That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should…

This prayer is INTENSE. It was introduced to me in college with the caveat, "be careful; usually when you pray this prayer, it works." But I have always had an instinctual love for this prayer, which seems to me so pure and strong. It attacks the greatest sins in my soul, and draws out situations in which I need to forget myself: when I am not chosen, not praised, honored or preferred. I want to pray this prayer every day, and hopefully it will help me to be more humble and think of ways I can put others before myself. 

Hope your resolutions are going well! 

Catholic Sex

WARNING: I talk about sex below, but not my sex life. Just sex in general. FYI. Dad, please stop reading anyway, thanks!

I was on CAF (Catholic Answers Forum) the other day and someone legitimately asked the question: what  lubricants are permitted by the Catholic Church. I almost fell off my chair. This same person said they knew certain positions were forbidden, but they didn't know which ones, causing me to spill my tea. By the time they got to the end of their post, I think I had destroyed my entire desk area out of slap-stick amazement. I kept yelling out loud, seriously? SERIOUSLY?? 


Now, granted, I come from a liberal atheist background. My mom was very open with me about sex, and because of my love of reading, I had read every book on sex I could get my hands on by the time I was 16 (despite the fact that I wasn't having sex). So when I became Catholic, I had a lot of questions about what Catholics thought about sex and I wanted 'em answered. I found those answers so compelling, I converted and then went right on to my masters work in moral theology (focus on human sexuality) at CUA. I guess I find the academic study of sex more interesting than the average girl.

Best Thomistic introduction to moral theology, including sexual ethics, I have read so far. It's academic, but still accessible. 

I wrote that poster a response, but then I got thinking about how many misconceptions good, Catholic people have about sex and all that it entails. I have had many married Catholic friends who have asked me sex questions that have blown my mind: questions about conception, contraception, NFP, enjoying sex, hygiene, and biology - questions I thought were common knowledge. I know I'm lucky: I got to study these questions in a formal, academic setting, so we covered most all of the bases and I had to buy a ton of books with concise answers and explorations of topics.

My second favorite moral theology primer. Servais Pinckaers' writing is fabulous and several passages of this book have provided wonderful meditation material. 

But...shouldn't there be some resource that helps faithful Catholics have a good sex life? There are a few good books, but not many in terms of practical frank discussions of what being sexual entails. There's a few okay websites, but many of them are Protestant, so they don't address the full breadth of Catholic issues. So I was thinking...what if I did that? What if I started a website geared at helping faithful married Catholics answer the questions they have about sex and sexuality, faithful to the Magisterium, mindful of the teachings of John Paul II, and incorporating modern science? I could recruit other people to write articles for the website so that there's a broader scope than just my own personal, limited experience, take questions submitted via email, and have male and female geared topics. I want to address wedding night sex, sex after kids, sex after menopause, the affect of infertility on a person's sex life, and even include people's personal testimonies about why they started being faithful to the teachings of the Church in a certain sex and/or marriage related area. I of course want to have a resources section with books that are helpful and links to websites with more in-depth articles on certain subjects like NFP, infertility, or common sexual problems.

Best popular book on sex I've read so far, but it doesn't (and can't) answer everything...

So that's what I'm thinking of doing in 2012: starting a Catholic sex website. What do you think? Good idea, bad idea? Do you have any topics suggestions, or would you be interested in being a guest writer? Even better, do you have an idea for a NAME for the website? My husband has been working on this, and so far my favorite is "Hot n' Holy" but I think that sounds more like a porn site than I really want...so any non-porn site suggestions would be appreciated!!