But if general decorum did not prevent me, here are some things I would have said to her:
Nighttime breastfeeding does not cause tooth decay. Bottles work different from breasts; breasts do not give milk unless the baby is actively sucking. If the baby is suckling, then he is also swallowing because the milk is already past the teeth. Please do not tell me to wean my child from night nursing because it will cause tooth decay - that's simply not true.
Although weaning is a very personal process, it's weird to encourage weaning based on the following reasons: she'll soon "ask for it" or will "lift up your shirt." If you are concerned these things will bother me, the appropriate way to approach this is to ask me how nursing is going and if I have any concerns, then to highlight some coming changes that may affect our nursing relationship, including increasing verbal skills and gross motor movements.
Also - Is it a bad thing for a child to ask for food, including breastmilk? Should I be afraid that there will be a learning curve in my child learning manners, like not throwing food or not lifting up my shirt?
Breastmilk never ceases to be nutritious. Yes, it's content changes and it gradually constitutes less and less of a child's caloric intake - but it never ceases to be breastmilk and starts to be water, or something else devoid of nutrients. So when you tell me it does, I lose trust in you and your medical knowledge.
Nursing to sleep is normal for breastfed babies. Please tell me why it's necessary for my baby to fall asleep without nursing. Not your opinion, but why - medically. Aha, there's no reason? That's what I thought. You are entitled to have opinions about parenting, as am I - but you must provide reasons for my consideration and not just proclaim your opinions as settled facts. Then I get to consider your reasons and make a decision. You are not an absolute monarch.
Just because the majority of schools and daycares required a certain vaccine does not answer my concerns about a vaccine. When I ask for a medical reason for a vaccine, do not tell me some children have died and the county requires it for school. Some kids die from vaccine reactions (link to US Dept of Health and Human Services required reporting on vaccine injuries and vaccine injury compensation). The county also requires sex education! Those are not medical reasons to avoid vaccines or submit my child to county-mandated sex education.
It was a pretty upsetting visit. Many of the statements made, especially in regards to breastfeeding, were made out of ignorance - and this is from a practice known to be nursing friendly! Ah well. Maybe I'll write a letter about this when I ask for Zuzu's medical records...since we certainly won't be going back.