Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Obligatory New Years Resolution Post

I'm not big on resolutions, probably because I fail so often. But this year is special for a few reasons: I have more time and money than I usually did as a student, and this year I turn 27. Uh, twenty-seven is not a significant number, Martha.   Yes, yes I hear you, but it's significant to me! When I was thirteen, my eldest sister was twenty-seven and I completely idolized her. I thought she was so beautiful, her kids so sweet, her life so perfect. Now in retrospect I realize her life was not perfect (whose is??), but my sister's sweetness and kindness was such a model for me about the kind of person and mother I wanted to be. I thought to myself, "when I'm twenty-seven, I hope I'm like Kim."

My sister and I at my undergraduate graduation. I'm so excited I'm eating my tassel.


And here it is, folks! This is the YEAR. And I'm...much less like Kim than I always wanted to be. I don't think I'm very sweet, I have no children on earth, and my sister is still way better looking than me (but I think that's just genes). So although I can't say I have a resolution like "be sweeter!", I have a general idea in my head: make this year worthy of twenty-seven.

Katherine over at "Having Left the Altar" has a great post about her new years resolutions that definitely inspired me. I recommend you read the post yourself, but she talks about choosing a word for the year, a word that sort of guides your intentions for that year and focuses you. I'm big on amorphous concepts that involve abstract thinking that one has to apply concretely, so this really appealed to me. I chose the word Humility. Ugh, really? Yes, really. I have noticed lately that I have lost some of the joy in losing myself; I have forgotten the importance of being least and last. To help me towards this goal, I have resurrected the hardest and best prayer ever: The Litany of Humility! ::cue trumpets:: Check it out:

O Jesus! meek and humble of heart,Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed,
Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being loved...
From the desire of being extolled ...
From the desire of being honored ...
From the desire of being praised ...
From the desire of being preferred to others...
From the desire of being consulted ...
From the desire of being approved ...
From the fear of being humiliated ...
From the fear of being despised...
From the fear of suffering rebukes ...
From the fear of being calumniated ...
From the fear of being forgotten...
From the fear of being ridiculed ...
From the fear of being wronged ...
From the fear of being suspected ...

That others may be loved more than I,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be esteemed more than I ...
That, in the opinion of the world,
others may increase and I may decrease ...
That others may be chosen and I set aside ...
That others may be praised and I unnoticed ...
That others may be preferred to me in everything...
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should…


This prayer is INTENSE. It was introduced to me in college with the caveat, "be careful; usually when you pray this prayer, it works." But I have always had an instinctual love for this prayer, which seems to me so pure and strong. It attacks the greatest sins in my soul, and draws out situations in which I need to forget myself: when I am not chosen, not praised, honored or preferred. I want to pray this prayer every day, and hopefully it will help me to be more humble and think of ways I can put others before myself. 

Hope your resolutions are going well! 

2 comments:

  1. That is an awesome prayer. Steven and I had to revamp out praying a few months ago because we were being 'seflish pray-ers'- mostly praying just for ourselves. We have added in choosing one particular group of people to pray for at meal time each day, but this would be the perfect way for us to really focus on others!

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  2. It's easy to ask for prayers just for ourselves! One of the things that's easiest to forget about prayer is that as much as it's about asking for things for people, it's also about just getting to know Christ- meditating on who he is, listening to Him, and sitting in His presence. One of the reasons I love the prayer above so much is because it identifies me with Christ...it makes me realize that all the things I'm asking for, Christ has and lived and did. So by spending time with him, I can become more like him - more perfectly humble!

    I hope you and Steven's prayers are becoming more fruitful in this new year!

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