I am no longer interested in any type of disagreement on the internet.
At first it was gradual, but then it became a monsoon and now it's official: I am ignoring all of you who are posting about any kind of 'war.' Catholic wars, mommy wars, culture wars, wars on women or drugs or the homeless. Consider this my virtual truce, my declaration of cyber pacifism, my white flag: I am laying down my weapons and checking out.
I have struggled about all that Pope Francis has written along with the rest of you, generally faithful/orthodox/just-want-doctrine-to-be-doctrine Catholics. I resonated a lot with Dr. Popcak's piece and his struggles with our Holy Father's interview. I found Calah's post to be very moving.. But for now, I've decided to just stop listening to the MSM (main stream media) or the CM (Catholic media) or anyone else and just...do what the Holy Spirit and the Pope are asking: get off my ass and live my faith.
And while I am sometimes genuinely interested in how other people parent, mostly I do not care - and the more I read about it, the more I might START caring and that I do not want to do. I get up and try to love my baby, but so far, we haven't hit any issues where I've said "I need help, I don't know what to do." It's not like that's a shocker - she isn't even a year old. She can't talk. We're still working on mobility here, people. I don't need to read everybody else's nasty words about why they potty train at six months/eat only a vegan diet/breastfeed till age ten/spank/ don't spank/ kill people who spank, etc.
I realized lately that I really need to stop seeing people who disagree with me as the enemy. I finally got it into my head that even if someone is a liberal, commie, gay-marriage-loving vegetarian who hates guns, that Christ died for THEM. Them as they are, not perfected and believing all the right things, but His mercy is extended to them as they are. Meditating upon the parable of the prodigal son has been very helpful to me because the father ran to the son before he even apologized or spoke a Word; I have to think that God might be happy that people are coming to Him, even if they are coming to him wounded and messed up. It's kind of sad it took me so long because, really, God came to me as I was - an immodest pro-choice tattooed girl with a potty mouth and more baggage than a Kardashian.
I don't want to stop believing or passing on the Truth. I won't change my mind that abortion is wrong, that gay marriage is bad for society, or that bikinis are immodest. But I want to start focusing on people more than issues, faces more than policy points. I'm tired of having to decide who I can really invest in based on whether or not they agree with what the Church teaches at this exact moment. I need to stop giving myself reasons why I don't have to be kind, or patient, or reach out to that person. Because if my mentors had been the way I am, I never would have become Catholic - it never would have even interested me - it would have passed me by as yet another clique-y group on campus, instead of entrancing me for the saving message that it is.
All that to say - I'm still reading your blogs, honest. But I'm going to stop giving you mental space when you start gearing up for battle because...I'm in the field hospital, along with everybody else.