We sang "Taste and See" - a classic, we sing it all the time. But suddenly the words of the first verse struck me:
I will bless the Lord at all times/
Praise shall always be on my lips/
my soul shall glory in the Lord/
for God has been so good to me!
God has been so good to me. My life and its goodness bears witness to the goodness of God, and his ability to work with flawed, broken instruments. As I sang the second, and then especially the last verse, I was moved to near tears:
Worship the Lord, all you people
You'll want for nothing if you ask.
Taste and see that the Lord is good;
in God we need put all our trust.
There is no reason for my life to be so good - no reason except I finally decided to ask God for help. Looking at my life, I do not deserve to end up where I am. When I was younger, despite what I said I wanted, I was on the road of destruction. I had spit in God's face by living contrary to what I knew was good for me, I turned everywhere else for comfort, I actively mocked his followers and tried to draw them away from the Faith. What reason could God have to want me anymore?
And in thinking about all this last Sunday, I realized - it would have been enough for God to bring me into His love in the Catholic Church. That would have been plenty - I would have been blessed to overflowing just from receiving the sacraments and living under the loving protection of my mother, the Church. It would have been enough.
But then God brought me to Catholic University, and to Mr. Oram. Not only did I meet my best friend, but God revealed His will for us to marry and seek Heaven together. That - that definitely would have been enough! My husband and my marriage are so incredible, such great gifts that I know would bring me to my God in Heaven above, if I let them. To have a man that I love who loves me, and to build a home and a life with him - it would have been enough.
But God cannot be outdone in goodness. So he blessed us with children; first with Frances, who was taken home early, and now with Susannah. I have a daughter! A lovely blonde little thing, who smiles and coos and cuddles, all in my arms. A child, a child of my own, that I was able to birth safely and sweetly, the way I wanted. God could not hold back! His love is boundless and He pours it out on those who are least deserving - like me.
This Thanksgiving, my life is more than enough and I am so grateful for all of it, because I deserve none of it.
Happy Thanksgiving. Glory to God.