7QT: Still Reflecting on Edel Edition

This is actually a post I tried to get up LAST week but failed miserably and then I finished it on Thursday night and Blogger ate it and I cried and now finally it's here. Futility, thy name is blogging.

-1-

I have yet to really reflect on some of the bigger messages of Edel (Cathedral building, etc.), but the connectedness really stayed with me - the need for moms to break out of isolation and fear, to have camaraderie again with one another. This week, as we've been at my in-laws, I've really tried to let this concept settle in my head so that when I see another mom, I automatically see her for being MORE like me, rather than less. Turning that switch makes each  mom interaction into a potential affirming experience for both persons, instead of one where we approach one another with wariness or fear.

-2-

Despite this, I still have some definitely feelings about parenting. At least, I have feelings about how I should parent my child (since I think that's the only child I'm qualified to parent). I think there's a fair question there: how do you respect and affirm other mothers, but still honestly acknowledge (maybe even discuss?) your parenting differences? I tend to gravitate towards other women who parent like I do, but there have been a few friends that break the mold. Do you see yourself doing that - choosing friends based on parenting styles? Is that good/bad/neutral?

-3-

One of the best aspects of Edel, and one that has been really on my heart lately, is the space that it made for work outside the home moms. So often, in the Catholic world, that terms feels wrong - or maybe only reluctantly right. So devalued are women who stay at home and who mother, that we have gone 180 degrees and turned our backs on women who choose a different path. Yet we forget that some of our greatest female saints who were mothers, worked outside the home! St. Gianna Beretta Molla isn't going to be accused of being a slouch in the mom department anytime soon, and she was a doctor. St. Elizabeth Ann Seton became a nun and founded an order - while she still had children at home! We forget that God's calling is individual, and while we can discern that something would be wrong for us, it doesn't mean it's wrong for everyone.

I'm really praising God lately for that freedom to embrace what He's calling me to.

-4-

The other thing that has really been on my heart has been children and what a deep blessing they are. Could Edel have affirmed that anymore? Those babies there were so lovely and it was so wonderful to be in a space that affirmed their existence as an unqualified good. Seeing that many women there, all of whom believe the same and are living their lives in that way, made me realize that we are starting a revolution - a revolution of love. By God's grace, our children will grow up knowing they are precious to us, and to Jesus Christ. In a world that is eroding the dignity of human beings more and more each day, this message can be nothing short of transformative!

-5-

Another great aspect of Edel has been the posts that have come out after it addressing the crosses of infertility, sub fertility, etc. There was a good deal of Twitter conversation about the place of wives who are not mothers at Edel, and I think a valid question is, should Edel have sections of it geared towards women who are not mothers? But Danielle Bean provided another great take on this question in the first chapter of her book, Momnipotent, which was in our swag bags at Edel. Disclaimer: I did not want to read this book; I think the title is hokey, and the cover juvenile. I only read it because I ran out of reading material on vacation. And guess what? It's fabulous. 

The first chapter discusses how motherhood is the essence of womanhood, because motherhood is not necessarily tied to physical mothers. Incredibly powerful, and moving. Give it a read if you can! 

-6-

A truly mind-bending part of Edel was meeting bloggers IRL whom I had only previously known by their blogs. This was odd for me because I don't have an interest in meeting my favorite bands, authors, or actors. I went to Edel to meet - you. But it did reveal to me that the internet, as much as it is a great good and helps connections, can also increase objectification. To see that each of the 'big names' were real women - women with postpartum bodies, babies, wounds, needs - that was very important for me. It's easy to disconnect the words on the screen from the very real people who write them. I am hopeful that Edel served as preventative medicine against that. 

-7-

The big theme to all of this is adult female friendships. How do you make them - and keep them? I have a lot more to say on the topic, but it seems to me that most of these friendships are formed around a common activity (exercise, sewing, homeschooling). But do you require complete parity in friendships - same age, similar aged children, same faith, same interests? I don't think I could find even one person that has complete parity with me! (or is that narcissistic??) Some women even seem to have these large groups of friends, where everyone is friends with everyone else and hangs out regularly. How does this happen? 

Hoping crowd-sourcing has the answer here.

Post script on a personal note - we just returned from about a month's vacation and I'm sick plus work is looming over me. I'll be lucky if August doesn't eat me alive.

7QT: Vacations ecetera

1. 

Currently the Zuz and I are on a trip visiting my friend Colleen in Pittsburgh. Let me tell you, for all I love my home state, nothing beats summer up north! It reminds me of every other northern state I've ever loved: Wisconsin, Indiana, Virginia. Soft breezes, chilly nights (and sometimes days too!), and soft grass. What's not to love? 

2. 

Speaking of soft grass, I was telling Tom how much I love the grass outside of Florida - it's soft and walkable (albeit usually slightly damp). Contrast this with the grass in Florida that is poky and terrifying, usually hiding some sort of obnoxious bug that can kill you. Tom and I were reminiscing about laying about in the soft grass in Indiana and even, Alabama, during our courtship years. Lots of that time laying in grass was also spent making out - so now we call soft grass Make-out Grass. 

(sorry for that overshare, family)

3. 

I have been following two stories lately of women who were widowed at very young ages (29 each). I'm 29 now, and married. They both were very happy in their marriages; one loss was expected, the other was sudden. They are both devastated. 

I feel so often that I am in a fairy tale marriage. True, there's no castle and my singing does not beckon woodland creatures, but my husband is a prince among men. God has been bringing to mind, repeatedly, how blessed I am by the marriage that I have. 

4. 

How does your family work vacations? Do you vacation with other people, just your family, with extended family? Do you only drive, fly, what? We can't go on trips when others can (Christmas holidays, Spring Break), so our summer is jam-packed with travels. This summer in particular is very full, and I am happy to say on several of these trips Jen is able to come! We love traveling with her and with our families, mostly because we like it all to be a party. I am very excited that I'm headed to Edele, Aruba, and Valparaiso this summer!

 

This is how I feel about vacation, but less blurry

5.

Looking for the perfect summer dessert? LOOK NO LONGER! This cobbler recipe is fantastic, used with any kind of fruit. I've made it twice now - both times to rave reviews!

6. 

One of my favorite things about the internet is the connections it can bring about. When I saw on Insta that Dwija had had her baby, I hollered up to Jen that John Charles Borobia was here - and she squealed like it was news about a person we've actually met, not just stalked on the internet.  Even though it's weird and I'm mostly on the fringes, I really love this 'virtual village' and the community that I feel a part of.

7.
Thank you all so much for your kind words, messages, cards, and calls about the loss of Louisa. I really appreciate it more than I can say. I have found myself processing this loss much differently than Francis, not surprisingly, so I might write less about it...or not. :) Thank you, in advance, for your patience.

7 Quick Takes

1. 

I ordered a new veil for Easter (which I ordered during the Easter season obviously...not at all in time for Easter Sunday), and it's here! I love the weight and feel of it, and am excited to not always look like I'm in mourning (since my other one is black). I know there are no rules for veiling really, but any other fellow veilers out there wanna weigh in on how you choose which color to where when? 

2. 

I have completely given in and serve Zuzu ketchup with everything. Well, not entirely true - sometimes I serve her mustard, olive oil, or pasta sauce - but she HAS to have "dippy" for every meal. I'm glad I didn't promise out loud that I'd never do that. 

3.

I want to know how it is that a random collection of items always ends up on my floors.  Nothing that makes sense, mind you! Just random items from around my home collect in odd places. As I type at the kitchen table, there sits around my feet: a 3-hole punch, a baby spoon, one orange crock, a silicon pastry brush, a pasta spoon, a pair of broken headphones, and a kitchen towel. On the other side, is a used cloth napkin and a fold-up yard stick. By my door is a bib, a book, a hair tie, and some exercise shorts. 

To be clear, I have used precisely none of these items today. I am interested in mounting secret cameras in my house and watching the tapes in fast forward so I can see how it is those items get picked up and then dropped there, all together. This could be a breakthrough in documentary film making. 

4. 

Which segways nicely to my next point: I AM A HORRIBLE HOUSECLEANER. I was going to write an entire post and ask for your help, but it was too humiliating to be honest about my struggles keeping (a very small house) for all of three people. 

You excellent housekeepers out there, share with me your wisdom! Do you have a cleaning schedule? How do you achieve it with littles running about? Do you give up nap time blog reading for productivity? And if so, how can I not do that and still have a clean house?

I'm dying to know.

5. 

My husband is gone all day today with the car (we're a one car family) and so I was automatically in a huffy mood to start my day. I kept trying to hit my mental reset button, but it just wasn't working. All this to say, those of you whose husbands are usually gone all day, I have nothing but respect. I fled to my neighbor's house for reprieve because for some reason, doing nothing at another person's house is pleasant for Zuzu, but hanging around our house induces wails and whines of unprecedented proportions. 

6. 

Did you husband ever tell you "you're not my mother, why should I get you a Mother's Day present"?  Mine did - the Mother's Day I was pregnant with Zuz. I was furious - but apparently, not alone. My neighbor reports her husband did the same thing. In retaliation, she hasn't bought him a Father's Day present since - and I think that was twelve years ago. (Hell hath no fury ecetera)

So Mother's Day is decidedly low-key around here. What does it usually look like in your house - or do you scorn it with the same fire that Valentine's gets these days? 

7. 

Update: There is now a robe sash and two mismatched socks added to the random pile by my bedroom door since I started writing this. The exercise shorts are gone.

7 again, always 7

Seven Quick Taaakes. With Jen.
Dear Lord help me all I can manage to do is write link-ups...

One.
My mom comes TODAY. Paint me excited. (what color is that? red? or is that only whorehouses? just wondering - asking for a friend) Actually, we ARE painting - that's why she's coming. We are painting the living room! (finally...why oh why didn't I paint the house when we didn't have a baby, y'know, the first 16 months of our marriage? right cause I was d-d-dumb)
But moving all the furniture today has told me that 1) we are disgusting dirty people and 2) I still hate tile. With tile all the yucky stuff just goes to the farthest wall and stays there, fermenting into a yucky stuff ball of disgusting. Pretty gag worthy!

Two.
Am I the only one who finds purging stories so refreshing? It makes me want to throw out everything in my home - and then buy new things to complain about. This must be the definition of first world problems. "I have so much stuff! I have to clean it myself! I can't afford a maid because I keep buying so much stuff! Ugh!"

I found this today and had a moment of silence for my long hair. 

Three.
Went to Lowes to get paint (in pale orange - God help me) and grabbed some seriously awesome plants in the 50% off-almost-dying rack. Wooooo! 10 plants for $35? Don't mind if I do. Now I will nurse them back to health in my very own plant nursery.

We're going for this, but oddly enough, the paint came with none of these accessories...???

Four.
I like to get magazines on my nook so that I'm not cluttering up the house - but it also means that I'm always behind in my reading, because I forget to charge it - A LOT. So the other day I'm perusing a Women's Health from June 2011 or something like that, and find out that the magazine editors decided to write a letter to their readers telling them that in the upcoming election, politicians wanted to take away their birth control - or make the morning after pill illegal. Worse! Personhood amendments, the magazine warned, would protect fertilized eggs before they become a pregnancy.
Look, I'm not a scientist here, but if you've got a fertilized egg inside your body, you're either pregnant or...oops, nope, there are no other options, you're pregnant!
Why do the editors of women's magazines continually presume that all women are interested in is not getting pregnant, looking hot, and giving pleasure to whoever we're shacking up with? I can't believe they insist that THEY are the people who are all about women's rights and we're the oppressive ones...riiiight.

Five.
August - November is the birthday season run around here. We have two in August, four in September, three in October, and one in November. By the time we get to Christmas, we're all exhausted - and then we have a January and February. March is a slight reprieve, then April we've got two...but then the summer stretches out, lovely and birthday-less (except for you, Grammy in Heaven, we won't forget June 3rd don't worry).
What is everyone else's present policy? A friend of mine told me the other day that she and her husband don't even buy their kids ANY Christmas presents. At first I almost fell off the chair, but then I realized that they just communicate with grandparents about what they want for the kids and...that's that. Otherwise, she explains, the gifts would be so overwhelming that the holiday would lose all meaning. As Zuzu's first birthday comes up, I'm beginning to see her logic, but the idea of not buying anything makes me sad. Maybe I'll settle for making lots of projects for her instead - quilt a few blankets, etc.
Thoughts?

Could YOU say no to this face? I cannot. Even when it's not talking.

Six.
Another ask-the-readers edition: how do you deal with photos, momentos, etc? I'm afraid they'll take over our house if I let them. Pretty albums are all well and good, but that takes up valuable shelf space that could be used for, you guessed it, BOOKS. But I can't just get rid of everything sentimental. Tips?

Seven.
There are many reasons I love Mr. Oram, but one of them is conversations like this:

Me: Lets go cuddle. I'm sad.
Him: Oh, okay. Are you alright?
Me: YES I just NEED to cuddle
(we go cuddle)
Him: Tell me why your sad.
Me: no...
Him: Did you read something sad on the internet?
Me: YES there's this mom and she has breast cancer and it's horrible!
Him: I figured it was something like that. It'll be okay. We'll pray for her tonight....but right now, lets have a nap.

That man knows me too well.

Seven Supah-Quick Takes Supah Late

First 

We went to California, which was sadly a whirlwind. It's such a beautiful state and I wish we could have spent more time there! The Napa area was just as beautiful (and expensive) as everyone says, but by far my greatest regret was not getting to visit the restaurant in downtown Napa aptly named: ZUZU. Ah well. Next time! 

Second

As fun as our adventuring has been, I am oh-so-ready to settle into being home for a good long while. Home at last! No big trips coming, no tests, just routines routines routines! I could kiss routine and commitment right now, even though I may want to dropkick them come January. 

Third

So I dove-in headfirst to the start of the school year. A gal pal and I are going to start hosting Endow meetings, probably out of my home (because lets face it, the best motivator to clean is other people coming over). I am a 5th grade catechist. I started taking some masters courses in theology. I work in the nursery still. Ten billion people (okay, maybe 5 or 6) had babies, so I'm bringing lots o' mamas lots o' food. Play dates at the pool are Friday mornings at 10. See - ROUTINE! I'm in love. 

Fourth 

To go along with my homebody-routine-loving self, I have been reading Pope Pius XII's Dear Newlyweds . I bought it a loong time ago and am only now reading it (am I still a newlywed? who cares!) and have his words to be wonderful, inspiring, and peaceful. I read a few sections at the beginning of Zuzu's morning nap, to set the tone for my day. It is so encouraging to hear a Pope recognize the necessity of my job, to have him laud the duties of housekeeping and homemaking. Do pick up a copy, if you're in need.

Fifth

There have been several habits Mr. O and I have long long long wanted to cultivate but never really done the work to make them stick. The two biggest: daily Mass and the rosary. God's grace finally broke through our stubborness and we have begun to incorporate both of these into our daily routine and let me tell you...WOW. Change! Change in my soul, greater joy in my marriage, peace in my mothering, greater wells of patience and love.  I am so grateful we have embraced these gifts - I hope this will give us the encouragement we need to stick to them!

Sixth

My baby turns one NEXT MONTH. Can you believe it? I can hardly stand it. We will be having a big party, with lots of cake and pictures and games. I am a mother to a child who is almost one! She is not walking yet, but is tentatively standing on her own sometimes. I am in no rush. :)

Seventh

I know I haven't been doing much blogging lately, but honestly, the blogosphere has not been a great place lately. I wasn't interested in adding to the noise! But because now I am here is a video. Please enjoy (and stop naming kids stupid names):

7 Quick Takes

-1-

So Zuzu had her 9  mo appointment today and the docs were all like, "yeah no big deal only one vaccine to get!" and then they said "oh yeah sorry oops you're not caught up it's four." 

It made me very sad. Seeing her in distress breaks my heart, and of course, I'm still eaten up with (unfounded? founded??) guilt about vaccinating. 

I was looking over the recommended vaccine schedule and noticed that chicken pox was scheduled for 15 months. I asked if it was required and the NP said, yes it was at this practice. She tried to engage me in conversation about it, but I wasn't really ready to pick a side in that battle, so I demurred. Then she said "Well it's really because chicken pox can lead to other more serious diseases. But I encourage you to do your own research - I'm sure you'll make the most responsible choice." 

...

Was that a thinly veiled implication that to choose not to get the chicken pox vaccine is to be irresponsible? 

Not thrilled. 

Pic from vacation - we went to this awesome zoo that had an exhibit with colorful birds. You could buy bird seed on a popsicle stick, which would make the bird come to you! Great idea - Zuzu was entranced and tried to grab several.

-2-

I went to Goodwill the other day and scored a bunch of classics for $.99! War and Peace, the Old Man and the Sea, Wuthering Heights, Around the World in Eighty Days...plus some old blankets to use for batting, some cute blankets to use for quilting, and some cloth napkins (nearly all of our cloth napkins come from Goodwill - people are always divesting themselves of them, and I am only too happy to snap them up at 50 cents a piece). 

Now I've got some reading to do! 

Uncle Tom knows how to hang with toddlers. 

-3-

As Zuzu gets older, I'm trying to become more conscious of my screen time...I read Elizabeth Foss write that when her kids are awake, she tries very hard not to be on a screen - be it computer, phone, or television. That's quite a commitment! I'm a little embarassed to say that since I read that, I've realized just how easy it is for me to "just check something real quick." 

I don't want to be that way - I don't want her to think the most important thing to me is my phone! The sad fact is that when she was born, and nursing so frequently, I got into the habit of reading articles on my phone....but she's big now. She might like some friendly mealtime conversation, or at the very least, some meaningful eye contact. 

This one is getting bumped up on my to-do list. 

Baby goat, meet baby Zuzu (please don't eat her hat).

-4-

With that said, I feel like I'm burned out on the Catholic blogosphere. I'm taking too much in that isn't giving anything back. It's like I'm in an echo chamber where I keep hearing the same things over and over again.

"The problem with the Church is..." 

"My kids ate poop again"

"I just custom designed a liturgically appropriate celebration out of dust and popsicle sticks!"

There a few authentic voices out there that I'm going to keep myself tuned into, but I've decided that it's okay to be picky about whose voice I'm letting into my life at every moment. I am so glad that everyone can have a niche in the blogosphere, but it's okay if I am not the reader of every  niche. 

Sometimes at the end of the day, I don't want to know.

Cousin Gabi and Zuzu love-fest!

Love squeezing these girls!

-5-

Also in my desire to have an outside chance at the lowest rung of purgatory is my decision to get off the 

 "nobody appreciates us orthodox Catholic baby-having people - we deserve stickers" band wagon. I don't need medals or approbations from every priest, old lady at the grocery store, or cranky relative when I am doing the bare minimum that God asks me to do. 

Yes, it often seems like a lot, but I think that's a problem with my perception, not my actual level of effort or energy put into being faithful. I don't want to seem stingy in giving back to God, I don't want to insist that everyone recognizes how great I am for being a faithful Catholic, and I don't want to stand in front of Christ on the Cross complaining about how people can be mean sometimes. 

It's just not the attitude I want to have (even though...it often is the attitude I *do* have). 

Zuzu made THIS FACE all during vacation! Her scrunched up cheeser face! 

I think it's a great visual representation of my bad attitude.

-6-

Lighter topics!

Am giving serious thought to investing (can we really call this an investment piece?) in a petty coat. Y'know, those garments that make your skirts uber-full? I like that look and it goes with my hair. Plus, if I wear any kind of a skirt, Zuzu keeps occupied for hours trying to catch it and eat it - so, it's also a built in baby toy. 

I am nothing if not frugal. 

Two men and a baby - Zuzu with her Daddy and Grampy

-7-

I've been thinking lately - over and over and over - how blessed my family is by our general situation. My husband's job, job flexibility, my ability to be home with Zuzu, to even have Zuzu, our wonderful parish community, great supportive extended families. There is so much difficulty for some families based on situations they cannot control - a job far away, long hours, the necessity for the mother to work, a longing for babies that is not satisfied. 

Everything is gift, and I have so many gifts. I am trying to focus on being generous with what I have been given - generosity in thought, by giving the benefit of the doubt to all I meet; generous in action, by being more hospitable to those in my community; generous with my love, by being kind to my family and those closest to me. 

My little thoughtful baby at the Tampa Aquarium

7 Quick Takes!

-1-

Lately, a lot of the blogs I follow (and love) have been emphasizing the, erm, more difficult sides of motherhood. It's been complain week around here after Jen gave everyone permission. I dont' mind; blogs exist for people to have an outlet for their thoughts and struggles. But I do wonder: 

Is motherhood harder now than it was in the past? Is it difficult because many of us come from smaller families, so we aren't used to helping with little brothers and sisters, or maybe because we spend a longer time in independent adulthood, unused to caring for other poeples' daily needs? I'm truly curious. Were women 'back in the day' happier with their role, because they knew beforehand what was expected and had seen it modeled by their own mother, aunts, grandmothers? Will our daughters struggle like we have, or will our example give them better preparation?

Photo boothing it up...

-2-

So many tragic events lately and what startled me the most was that there as a link to images of the beheadings in London - video even! I know that we live in an age of the pornography of violence, but that's ridiculous. Honestly, I'm not sure it's necessary for anyone to see that - is that really respectful of the dead, does it serve to give that poor man greater dignity in death? I worry that our refusal to leave anything to the imagination is creating a society of callous indifference. 

-3-

If there's one thing I find ridiculous, it's those silly articles about how much children cost over the 18 years you're responsible for them. Not only are they calculating many items that some parents don't need or have to use (disposables, disposable wipes, bottles, breast pump, wipe warmer, new sew of nursery furniture, etc.), they also don't take into account others generosity. We won't have to buy Zuzu clothes until she's in 3T because of how generous people are to us; we also have never (get that? NEVER) bought her a toy! Or a book. We have received so many wonderful items from others, it's been unnecessary to purchase those things ourselves.

Also, no offense to those of you that buy her such lovely and educational toys, but her goal these days is to locate and chew on my shoe...so yeah. Not that expensive. 

Zuzu playing with her "Busy Bible" - one of the best toys ever! Hand-made here in Florida, helps with fine motorskills, and beautiful. My mom got it for her. Check them out!

-4-

Just finished reading Greg and Lisa Popcak's "Beyond the Birds and the Bees: Your Guide to Raising Sexually Whole and Holy Kids." Wow, I was very impressed - and I say that as a Popcak skeptic. Although I adored their book "Holy Sex" (we read it on our honeymoon), I had some real issues with his parenting book, "Parenting with Grace" and found several of his statements truly problematic. So it was with trepedation that I approached his one on how to talk to your kids about sex - but it seems that when it comes to sex, the Popcaks know how to get the right ideas across. Their book was full of great ways to teach your children the fullness of the Church's teaching about their bodies and sexuality from birth! They make the great point that you can't just give them 'The Talk' at 12 or whenever and expect them to follow what you say. You have to train them from the moment of their birth to see themselves as made in imago dei, and to respect that others' are made so as well. 

He has great examples of how to handle conversations with your kids on masturbation (even at a very young age), nudity, abortion, sex itself, boyfriends/girlfriends, dating, and everything else. If you're wondering how to deal with these topics, I found this book very helpful. 

-5-

I'm taking the Bar again this summer. 

I'm really hoping I can pass it and then just have it under my belt! Move on! We shall see...

-6-

We had some front landscaping done - cleaned up the Eureka palms, took out a mimosa tree that infringes upon the driveway, and took out a dead 'junk' palm. Now my front yard looks...naked!! A lot of foliage gone, but it's a nicer, cleaner look. Now I am knee-deep again in garden dreams, thinking about planting sweet potatoes, avocado and mango trees, and some alysium borders...ah, to have unlimited time - and money! 

This is not our front yard. This is clearing the lot down the street. But you can see how the foliage down here leans more towards jungle than English garden.

-7-

I love cloth diapering and all, but man, isn't it annoying when I ask "what diaper rash ointments are compatible with CDs?" and the person replies, "if you're using CDs, you shouldn't have diaper rash." ....uh, okay. But obviously that is an issue, so can you help or not?! 

Similar and even funnier story, during our birth class I asked "what tips can you give to partners on dealing with seeing their wives in pain? I know it's very hard oftentimes for men to see women in pain..." Her response? "You're not going to be in pain." (this is because the birth education class was hypnobirthing, may adherents of such claim to not feel pain during labor) Well, HAHA, lady the joke's on you - cause I was in pain during labor!! And I was all visioning and deep breathing! Still in pain! 

Well that's a good note to end on I guess... :) 

7 Quick Takes

It's Friday! So I don't have to come up with an original idea, instead I jump on Jen's train of genius for 7 Quick Takes... 

-1-

Sooo this weekend is Mother's Day! My first one with a baby in my arms! Wooo! 

I also thought that I'd be celebrating it with my own mama, but a few things came up and she will not be traveling down to see me. I have no idea why (hormones? crazy genes?), but this has severely depressed me. Dinner last night was, therefore, 2 homemade chai tea lattes and two homemade Vietnamese banana muffins. 

I might have cried into my baked goods...just a little bit.

Banana bread recipe and picture from Simply Recipes...I call it Vietnamese banana muffins because a) I do not have a bread pan, therefore I make them into muffins, and 2) the only time I make it is when my Vietnamese friend brings me 10 thousand of these special bananas that grow in her parent's yard.

-2-

So I was telling Jen this the other day, but when I first came to Naples, I was so excited to be part of this dynamic Catholic community...but it seemed like everyone I would meet would suddenly reveal their SH. What is a SH? SECRET HERESY. These faithful Catholics would suddenly bust out with, "I believe in reincarnation!" or "abortion can be a loving choice." 

I have to admit, it's made me still a little wary of Catholics down here...is it in the water?!?

-3-

My husband did yard work today - gritty, hard work in the yard in the beating sun. He came in smelling of sunscreen and sweat. 

Moments like that I love looking at him and thinking, he is AAALLL mine. hashtag: something sappy and possibly inappropriate.

This is where we got all that free mulch - the lot being cleared down the street.

-4-

I made my own hummus today - really pretty easy. I'd like to take this opportunity and apologize to my grad school roommate because, when she suggested that I make my own hummus, I reacted like she'd just told me to bugger off. 

Sorry Rose. You were right - really wasn't that hard and it's better for me.

All of my grad school roommates - Rose in red, Jess in yellow, Ashley - head only, Abbie in blue? white?, Jen of course, and then me in grey (with short hair - before I dyed it blue).

-5-

What are people's policies on nap schedules...stick to them religiously, have roughly the same time every day, or just intervals (2-3-4 schedule)? What's important enough to move them? Just searching for some advice out there...I've been trying to keep Zuz on a schedule, but it inevitably means I miss out on a lot - play dates, girls night out, etc.  

happy morning baby

-6-

I've been thinking of starting to pump so I can have a bit more 'freedom' - but I honestly don't know how it would work. My angel is...not the best sleeper (to put it sooo lightly). I put her down for her 1.5 hour nap in the morning...and I have to go back in to soothe her to sleep at least twice. At nighttime, the soothing can be endless - sometimes I just give up and go to bed. And soothing = nursing. 

Is this just a phase I deal with until she self-weans? Which...I really hope she does. Because I cannot imagine trying to wean her - it breaks my heart. Sometimes I read weaning stories on the internet and cry. (did I just put that on the internet, Lorda mercy, someone do an intervention for me)

-7-

Although I do not get to see my mom this weekend, I DO get to travel to Orlando next week to see the WHOLE FAMILY. Beyond excited. I am so looking forward to seeing all of my siblings, nieces, nephews, parents, heck even my parents' crazy dog (also known as my Father's fourth daughter). Really really pumped to see everyone! 

Family time, Florida style...my caption for this pic on facebook is a perfect description of our beach days: 

pass the SPF 4, chatting chatting, what are you reading, do you see the kids, anymore pretzels, oops watch that wave, man I wish we'd brought beer...

7 Quick Takes: Vol. Unknowable

Another Friday, another 7 quick takes with Jen and ze gang!

-1-

Had the lovely occasion today to lunch with the inimitable Calah (pronounced Kayla). It was really great to chat with her and enjoy her energetic little ones. Plus drop some moolah in the bookstore...I can never pass up a good book despite the bajillion that are pushing us out of our own living space. 

-2-

Started reading Meg Meeker's The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers: Reclaiming Our Passion, Purpose, and Sanity. Despite really hating the title, I wanted to see what she had to say - and I'm glad I did. Although not all of the chapters are must-reads, several of them are very VERY good - really moving, actually. Although I firmly believe motherhood is not something that can be learned from a book, I think this book provides some great wisdom. 

Maybe someday I'll get Mr. O to review Dr. Meeker's other book, Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know  - but that would mean he would have to read it (I got it for him as a gift many moons ago...it's still gathering dust on his dresser).

-3-
Also in my book-buying binge was Dr. Popcak's Beyond the Birds and the Bees - about talking to your kids about sex and raising them to have healthy attitudes towards their bodies and sexuality. I realize that this is jumping the gun a little bit, but what is beginning to hit me is that parents convey attitudes about these things to their children long before they have 'the talk.' How do you tell your child to put on clothes or to stop touching themselves? What do you call their 'bathing suit' areas - how do you talk to them about looking at their siblings' nakedness - or yours, or your spouse's? I think the way parents react to all these normal-family-life situations put a message out there, and I want to make sure I'm putting out a good and healthy one.
I'll let you know if this book is a keeper.

-4-
Summer is back around here and so my husband just reminded me of the best thing ever about summer:
FREEZY POPS.

So few calories, I just count each one as zero and call it a day. 

(everyone knows green is the best...sometimes blue. never orange or yellow or pink)

-5-

I wonder when the 'glow' will wear off - when I'll stop feeling this rush of joy and love when I look at my baby and my husband. Granted, it's not always that way when I look at Mr. O...(haha, love you bear!) - but most of the time it is. I have a husband and a baby. Shallow as this might sound, it is really what I've wanted my whole life. Well...that and more babies. *grin* 

-6-

Nope, not pregnant. 

-7-

I make chocolate coconut cranberry cookies last night and wanted to take some to Calah's today, but we ate THEM ALL last night. ALL OF THEM. 

So now I have no dessert tonight and I feel a bit bummed. Not going to lie.

(I  may or may not be sending my husband on a dessert-related errand as we speak)

7QT: darnit

I wrote almost my whole thing...and then did something and lost it. 

Very VERY annoyed. 

Still joining Jen and the gang because I can't resist a good link up. 

-1- 

PARTAY! 

I had a party at my house on Friday - and it went great! I loved having so many of my favorite people in one place, and introducing them all to each other. On the plus side, nobody starved (my greatest fear about parties) - although I did feed a friend's children beer margaritas because I did not label the pitcher and apparently they look a lot like iced tea. (sorry about that Marcie) 

Colleen with the babes

Mary chatting with Jen (whose son Dom was being a bit clingy)

Best pasta salad ever

Gluten free cookies, lovingly made by Colleen

Keepin' it simple - burgers and dogs

-2- 

FRIENDS!

My other bff from college, Colleen, was here this weekend with her baby Miriam, who's only 20 days younger than Zuzu.  It's been so great to have her here and to watch our girls play (and fight) together! I see many more of these trips in the future. 

Mamas and beach babes

The two sweet babies...we can tell from this picture who is the high maintenance one (hint: it's mine) 

-3-

NEW SHOES! 

I got new running shoes. Asics Nimbus 15: 

I wanted to get those ones that look like I did a color run: 

But those are technically triathalon shoes and with my knee pain, I wanted to go with the shoe that felt the best, which was the Nimbus. 

Very grateful to my mother and father for buying me these shoes. Thank you!! (I know you both read this) 

-4-

SWIMMING LESSONS

Ok not really; I haven't given  Zuzu any lessons yet (I think we'll start this summer at our YMCA). But I did take her to the beach with the gals yesterday and actually take her in the water! Not just dippin' the toesies in! 

She didnt' cry so long as I was holding her! She's getting so big!! 

-5- 

BIG BABY

Speaking of getting big, I'm beginning to realize what a big girl Susannah really is becoming. She is trying very hard to pull herself up on things, and can just hang out and play by herself for quite a while. We got a baby sign language kit (well, I have to go pick it up) that I'm going to start with her because I know her brain can process far more than her tongue can yet express. I've been working with her on "more," "thank you," "milk," and "book" right now - the only ones I know off hand! 

-6-

REARRANGE FURNITURE 

(hm a phrase that doesn't even look exciting in all caps)

We moved our ginormous coffee table out of the living room for the party, so that we could use the space for kiddos who didn't enjoy playing in the heat (and it IS hot). Now I sort of like it this way, with no coffee table, a la Kristin's living room - but I don't think I want it to stay looking the mini- FAO Schwartz it looks like now. I need some sign that adults live here...we're not even outnumbered (yet)!

-7-

HOME PROJECTS

The day before the party I said to my husband, "I'm going to paint the front door! And the shutters!! and you're going to buy and install new door handlesets!" 

Yeah, that happened. I am still grateful to Mr. O for all his hardwork - the doors and shutters look fantastic (don't listen to anyone who says you can't paint vinyl, that's what my shutters are) and we both agree it really freshens up the house. Although now we need to pressure wash our (white) siding in a big big way cause it looks super dingy next to our bright turquoise accents...

No joke, this is the color of our front door. Hey we live .8 miles from the water, we can pull it off!! right...

Hope y'alls week was as eventful as mine!

Seven Quicktakes: Summer Edition!

Seven Quicktakes by martij on Polyvore

Joining Jen...well, no, Grace...with all the 7 quick takes!

-1-
The title is misleading; really...every edition from here until maybe November will be more or less summer, because we live in southwest Florida. But it's starting to feel like summer! Long hours of daylight, gardening projects, and...GRILLING.

-2-
Grilling really deserves it's own take. My generous in-laws (Mr. O's parents and sis/BIL) and parents all contributed so that we could get an awesome grill for our birthdays! It's good size, stainless steel, and promises to be the answer to all our cooking woes (the oven makes the house too hot, Zuzu inevitably wants to nurse in the middle of dinner and Mr. O doesn't know what to do when I ask him to 'check' things in the oven...)
We used it for the first time tonight and it was SO awesome!!

-3-
Running.
Ever since I actually started to like running (2007), it's been a love hate relationship. I love what running does for my body, my self-confidence, my prayer life (long hours running leads to rosary praying). I am proud of the lost toenails and funky tan lines. And yet...when I'm out of it, getting back into it feels like torture!
But today...oh today. I went out and there. I. was. Running! Just running. Running like it was just another day, back to asphalt, oh yeah, do it all the time, what's the big deal, not even winded...
Running!!

-4-
I had a lady doctor appointment today - back to my midwife and the birthing center where Zuzu was born. We haven't been there in...six months! It was awesome going back together. All the gals oohed and awed over lil' missy and we got to go back to the room (The Ocean Room) and pray in thanksgiving for so many prayers answered! A healthy pregnancy, healthy baby, amazing family...we were overwhelmed with gratitude!

-5-
My newest obsession is Hallie's 5 Favorites (can you blog about a link up on another link up??? Well I am!). So now I'm trying to hold back on some things here because I am saving them for Hallie!! Whaaat. Crazy.

-6-
I redid my blog again! I needed something more colorful, more summery...I really like it.
Also - you like the fun social media buttons to the side? (I'm still playing with them, hate that they're uneven...) I found a great tutorial on how to upload these adorable free icons - and it was (really) idiot proof...and I know that's true because I did it! Very grateful to those ladies for sharing their design ability with mere mortals like myself...

-7-
I am enjoying my sewing machine SO. MUCH. Even though all I have been doing is hemming away at those little cloth wipes...it brings me great joy. I'm getting used to the feel of the machine, how it all works, trouble shooting...really looking forward to getting more creative and doing more projects! However, I do also need to get back to my knitting...I had just gotten the hang of it when babykins came and now, whelp...I hope I remember!

7 Quick Takes: Birthday sand All that Jazz

Hosted by Grace because Jen is busy lovin' on the new little man!! Congrats Jen! 

-1- 

Mr. Oram and I's birthdays are one week apart from each other, so we usually like to do something together. However...the week before his birthday, we were struck with the plague, so I didn't do ANYTHING for his birthday. No card, no gift (I had made plans for the gift, but buying/getting it delivered didn't happen), no cake, no dinner...just slow recovery, ginger ale, and lots of laundry. 

WINNING for sure. 

-2- 

on the other hand, as usual, my husband totally showed me up by surprising me with MY PARENTS for my birthday. Y'all know how much I love my mom...and I got to see my DAD too!! It was blissful. Funny how I spent most of my adult life trying to stay away from Florida and now I'm so happy to be back, and I wish we lived even closer.

Mom, Me, Dad - Bama game!

-3-

Have you ever returned to a place of fond memories, only to find you're not sure why those memories are quite so fond? 

For my birthday, we went to my fav French restaurant...only to have me discover that suddenly, this was not my favorite restaurant anymore. The food was good, wine was good, service was fine - but the thing that was the best? The company. That's what really mattered. "the experience" wasn't what I remembered it being. 

Sorry Dad - I still do really appreciate you picking up the check. Next birthday, Taco Bell? I'll buy!

Gratuitous picture of my childless self...just had jetted out to San Diego for a moot court competition...I slept in a queen bed alone. Amazing what I took for granted.

-4-

Speaking of that special dinner, while there, Zuzu was playing with bread. She's not really eating yet...just playing with food (baby led weaning, blah blah dirty hippie, blah blah). But I can see she tore off this chunk of bread and doesn't know what to do with it. I feel inside her mouth (wooo parenting!!) just in time to feel it slip down her throat. 'Huh,' I think 'we're either going to have some major choking going on or she's going to gag it up.' So I pick her up in anticipating of either joy and she...throws up. All over my purty dress. ALL OVER. Like Linda Blair here! Endless pouring out! Her cup ranneth over, onto my dress! 

I was cracking up. I've waited 28 years for this - it's here! I'm the mom! The one that gets puked on! It's my kid! For some reason...it made me feel so happy. Like "well, I've arrived. I'm the one that gets to deal with the mess." 

Yeah maybe I was just drunk.

coolest baby EVER

-5-

Um, so then, as if all that excitement weren't enough, my husband got me a SEWING MACHINE. 

Singer - Quantum Stylist 9660! 

Don't worry, he's not being insulting - I asked for this. And I am so excited to have it! It's perfect 'cause it has some bells and whistles, but not enough to scare a newbie like me to death. So far I've been practicing...by hemming cloth wipes. Wow, my life is so. exciting. 

But if I mess up, who cares? I know that everyone has better things to do than sit at the playground and say "Did you see what Mrs. Oram wipes her baby's butt with? Such crooked hems!" 

-6-

Almost made it through without baby waking up...so lightening quick:

-7-

Our microwave broke. PANIC. 

7 Quick Takes: Womp Womp Edition

Joining Jen and the crew for more discussion of my life...but since I'm kind of bummed this week, you get seven pictures of the baby to balance it out. Cause if pictures of Zuzu do not cheer you up...there's no hope!

-1- 

I am sorely neglecting you, poor little blog! Forgive me. In the midst of working, mothering, trying to keep a handle on the house...I seem to have very little time to sit down and write. 

Headbands are the reason I love having a girl...!!

(photo via Jen)

-2- 

I have really struggled this week. The house feels like it's a constant CONSTANT mess, I know I have dropped the ball on several things at work, and there are some personal issues that are weighing heavily on my heart. It's felt very...lonely...this week, around here. I wish my family or more friends lived closer - like down the block closer, not have to get in the car to see them-type-close.

Zuzu, doing some reading of her children's Bible...

(also Jen?)

-3-

In the midst of this holy season, and in light of holy week fast approaching, I hope everyone who is attending services takes time to appreciate all the hard work that goes into running a parish. You  might want to critique the music, decor, substance/length of the homily, the way communion is done, or the way the Eucharistic ministers are dressed...but I hope you'll realize that it's a place largely run by volunteers or underpaid staff, who make sure you have a place to go where you can be fed. It's a huge sacrifice for most of these people and usually, all they hear are complaints!! 

Zuzu...crawling on the floor at work. Gross, I know - blame Auntie Jen.

(this is her picture too)

-4-

This week as I was delving into previously unknown realms of self-pity, I got a call from a lady suffering from an unimaginable situation - hard stuff. I just melted hearing her start to cry and tell me why she needed help. I was able to get her what she needed, but felt so profoundly silly for being so distraught about my wee little inconveniences. 

We took her to the beach again...she's outgrown her swimsuit!!

But lookin' cute with Daddy...

-5- 

I am super grateful for getting to visit some friends and their brand-new baby tonight. Maybe the best thing about the whole night? Zuzu deciding she was going to try her first solids....

sweet and sour shrimp. 

YUM

My mother-in-law brought me this when she came to visit - SO. MUCH. FUN!!!

(Jen)

-6-

MY MOM IS COMING THIS WEEKEND. In case it's not obvious enough, j'adore mon maman! When she's here everything feels so much better.

I love this face - the oooh face. She's made it since she was born.

(Jen)

-7-

In more baby news, my niece Katie had her chunky monkey little girl this week! We are all happy to welcome this wee one to the family. Please pray for my niece's recovery - it was QUITE the labor and of course, having a first-time mama to a wee newborn can be overwhelming.

Zuzu helping me garden