Courtesy of Jen at Conversion Diary!
Today it rained and so it is now 66 degrees. Although not the snow storm I had prayed for, it's close enough! I walking around wearing a scarf and a long cardigan. Joy!!
Today on one of my favorite Facebook pages, Mama Birth, they asked "Tell the truth - do you like other people's kids, or just your own?" I found this question to be intriguing, especially because so many women said that their feelings had changed (for good or ill) after having their own children. Since I now have 19 years of childcare experience, exclusively with other people's children, I am waiting to see if having my own children will change my regard for wee ones - because I like children far more than adults. What I usually mind is parents, but children? Well so far I like them just fine!
I had a minor meltdown in Marshalls yesterday, staring at summer dresses on clearance and thinking "oh my gosh, when will I ever be my normal size again?" I realize this may come across as shallow and silly, but a thought keeps persisting at the back of my mind that I may be facing a very different life now - a life where I sacrifice my desire to be in great shape, my ability to put my fitness first, for a family. I'm certainly not advancing the idea of throwing in the towel on being attractive, but if I'm on a cycle of pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding...then it won't be very easy to have a body that's just "mine" for quite some time - for years, in fact, if God does bless us with a big family. Despite my complicated "relationship" with my incarnational self, I love my body. It has carried me through great rugby games and a difficult half marathon, it has rocked a bikini and an old fashioned one piece, it's reminded me of where I come from and that I'm strong enough to get where I want to go. And now that I'm putting my body to its greatest use, to be sacrificed, stretched, and scared, all for love, I'm finding I am starting to miss it already.
Despite loving my body, when someone made a comment the other day about how heavy I am, I sat in my shower and cried for a good 30 minutes. I love my baby and the belly I have that shows she is so close to being here; I still fight to love my limited physical abilities now that I'm carrying her. I miss being able to do yoga (thanks, carpel tunnel), run (thanks huge belly), or even walk for long periods of time (thanks swelly feet and exhaustion). But I don't think I'd miss it as much if I hadn't gotten that comment.
Heartburn is my newest symptom. It's highly uncomfortable. I am learning to be content in physical infirmities for the first time in my life. Please do me a favor! If you have any special intention or know anyone who does, please tell me, so that I might offer up these last six weeks and any discomfort of labor for you or your loved ones. Mr. O and I are starting our list for all those for whom we wish to offer up our suffering and we'd love to pray for you too.
I wanted to write more about politics, but I didn't. Aren't you proud?
If you need someone to pray for or a new blog to read, may I suggest 11 On My Own? I am amazed at what she has had to deal with while raising her children and am awed by her strength and tenacity in the face of suffering. This definitely helps me to count my gratefuls and to pray for her as a member of the Body of Christ.