Just a quick post (do I know any other kind?) to say - it's my 200th post! If I were more organized, I'd do a giveaway!! ...probably of my laundry, but then no one would be interested. Still, if anyone would like one, I'd be happy to offer, just give me some ideas.
So I read this hysterical article on where not to breastfeed. I died laughing at the (non-graphic) pics...but then I thought: "huh. What do I think about nursing without a cover?"
I always nurse with a cover when I'm in public. I find it to be more discreet and I'm a fairly modest person by nature, in that I do not enjoy drawing attention to my naked body. So then I thought "is nursing without a cover, wrong in itself?" Is it wrong for a Catholic woman to nurse without a cover?
I'm not sure. I have seen women nurse without covers who are very discreet - just looks like they're holding their baby close to their body. Others I've seen more, but it hasn't bothered me. I really like breastfeeding, not just for myself, but for all mothers - it's the best way for babies (and mothers) to be nourished. So I want to support it, and I don't want to be the modesty police because nursing is hard as it is - figuring it out, doing it even though it can be inconvenient, etc. Plus a part of me thinks - well, I see more boob than that on a gal at the checkout line at the grocery store! Why should I tell this woman to cover up?
Now, full warning, if I'm at home, I do NOT use a cover and nothing can make me. (although this is a recent decision, I should note) I now make it clear to my guests - I will be nursing in this room, if you don't want to see it, don't come in - if you don't care, neither do I. So far, this hasn't made anyone uncomfortable; my female friends usually will come in and chat with me, and their husbands stay with mine in the other room. It doesn't bother me. Now, this doesn't just go for my living room or bedroom, but for the front porch, back porch, backyard, etc. I am discreet, but I will not wear a cover outside - it's just too hot here and besides, Zuzu needs more Vitamin D and I like multitasking. (only slightly kidding)
So that's what's rambling around in my head. Any thoughts? Would you nurse in public without a cover - even if it's just hypothetical, as in, you have no babies as of yet?
Monday, April 15, 2013
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No babies as of yet and as much as I'd love to nurse without a cover, and as much as I support women to do that, I have a feeling I'll be the type that has a lightweight blanket over my shoulder. I think the actual nursing covers draw a lot of attention and are more noticeable than using nothing at all, ironically. But yeah... maybe by kid 2 or 3 I would nurse without a cover in public?
ReplyDeleteI know it's hard to say until you're IN a situation...my husband was adamently against nursing in Mass...until we had a baby. And then he was like "FOR GOD SAKES, FEED HER!"
DeleteNow he's been known to say of fussing little ones "that kid needs to nurse." :)
Happy 200th post, my friend! :)
ReplyDeleteHm... well, I would like to think I will be able to nurse without a cover in my home... I don't think so in public, though. As long as a woman is discreet about nursing without a cover, then by all means! I actually do get taken aback when I see a mom just letting it all hang out when they are breastfeeding. I do think that's a bit immodest. But, I guess we shall see when the babes roll around some time! :)
Do you often see moms "letting it all hang out" when they breastfeed? I mean...besides me at home. :)
DeleteNever use a nursing cover at home, of course, duh.
ReplyDeleteFunny enough if I am out and don't know anyone, I won't use a nursing cover. I just don't care if someone by accident sees anything, because I don't know them. Also, don't usually use one around woman.
But, yes always use one if a friends husband or a man is anywhere around! With Isaiah, funny enough, I didn't care as much, but now I just don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. Sometimes I wish I didn't care as much when others are around. But last night we had guests and I just went into my room, so I didn't have to worry about anything.
Long answer :).
You nurse without a cover around people you don't know!?! Whaaaat? I had no idea!
DeleteI think there is something to carrying about what makes others uncomfortable...I'm not sure if it's good (Christian charity) or bad (letting others affect our behavior unnecessarily).
I nurse in public all the time without a cover. In fact, I'm on my 4th kid and I didn't even own a cover until this one, and I only have one because they were in a bag of baby stuff given to me. I actually don't even think they had special nursing covers when I had my oldest (11 years ago). I don't really remember seeing them...they certainly weren't widespread the way they are now.
ReplyDeleteI use a cover if I'm nursing in a sling or in a dress where I have to pull my breast up over the top of my shirt/dress. That is not modest or discreet, so I do use a cover in those circumstances.
If I'm sitting down, I just pull my shirt up and nurse. I don't use a cover, and I think I'm pretty discreet. I'm sure I have flashed people briefly on occasion, but I don't worry about it. And, you can see a lot more breast at the beach or whatever. I do try to be modest however and keep the top of my shirt pulled down over the top of my breast.
I always feel more self conscious in a cover, because then everyone knows what you are doing, while w/o a cover, a lot of times it does just look like you are holding/cuddling the baby.
My kids have all nursed until age 3, and in public until age 2, so I think at that age, not using a cover is way more discreet because the kid's head is big enough to cover everything up and most people think you are just cuddling or holding the child...while a nursing cover would draw a lot more attention to "hey, I'm nursing a toddler" and be less discreet.
And, at home...I'm totally just all out there...I don't worry about pulling my shirt down over the top of my breast of anything. I want my kids to see me breastfeeding and think of it is a the normal, regular way to feed a baby and I do believe that women learn how to breastfeed by watching other moms do it. I'm glad that my girls are seeing nursing as the normal way to feed and calm and nurture a baby, so if they ever have children of their own, they will consider breastfeeding as normal/natural. I remember my mom nursing my youngest brother when I was 7 and it made an impression on me, so that I never even considered NOT breastfeeding when I had kids.
I think that's a big part of this - the fact that most people have NEVER seen breastfeeding, not even in their own homes, because there weren't that many kids, and maybe even if there were, mom bottle-fed. People don't see breastfeeding as normal because people have never seen breastfeeding.
DeleteI would have been more comfortable nursing without a cover when she was little and nursed for long periods of time. But now, she's so distractable, I feel like people would be getting an eyeful A LOT, with her popping off and looking around, trying to roll off my lap, etc.
I do wonder about how our view of fashion dovetails with our views of nursing. A triangle bikini top shows more than I do when I'm nursing - more of EVERYTHING. I think people get hysterical at the idea of seeing a nipple, for some reason.
Martha, I totally get what your saying about older child getting distracted. I don't have any kidos of my own but I do have lots of friends who breastfeed. I've seen lots of breasts and lots of nipples since they all started having kids. My sister used to breastfeed my nephews when I was between 5 and 13. She would breastfeed on demand until they were all 2 - 2 1/2 (when the new baby was expected). Then the hummies, what the kids called her breasts/ the action, would break(she put cloth band-aids over her nipples). She chose not to tandem feed. Breastfeeding just seems like the thing to do. For myself I think I'll probably use a cover to start learning how to breastfeed in public but after we both get the hang of it I don't see a problem with nursing discreetly in public without a cover. I'm all for the pull the shirt up and/or re-purpose the belly band/layering thing.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny how that happens, huh? Good for your sister - nursing till 2.5 years! I don't know how long we'll go, but THAT is awesome!!
DeleteFor my first two children, whenever I wasn't at home I used some cover whether it was a blanket or a jacket or whatever. By my third I felt comfortable and confident enough to forego the cover. I'm still very discreet and modest. I just use the baby and my shirt to keep myself covered. During the nursing of my 3rd, I would actually practice in front of a mirror so I could see what others were seeing and just how I needed to manipulate my shirt to keep covered without a "cover". At home it doesn't matter as much unless we have company and then I will use my shirt to cover me up like I do in public. I honestly don't know if I would do it any differently if I had any sons but since I have 5 girls, I haven't had to cross that bridge yet. :)
ReplyDeleteI hear that nursing in front of a mirror really helps!! I ordered an awesome nursing shirt (on clearance) from Figure 8 Maternity and it has those secret flaps that just lift up on the bust for nursing - so cool. I think those would be very easy to discreetly nurse in.
DeleteTrue...I wonder if it is different with boys. But maybe not? Surely they have to learn it's healthy and normal...and so long as you weren't being overly demonstrative, I'm sure it would damage anyone's psyche! Well we'll cross that road when/if we come to it, eh?
I've been thinking about this a lot so it's interesting that you posted this. I've even resorted to nursing in the car between outings because Nala won't tolerate the cover. She grabs it and practically chokes me until I finally take it off and then she is content with nursing. So I don't use the cover anywhere but I am selective about where I nurse unless we're at home or with family.
ReplyDeleteI am always sensitive to the modest while nursing thing because I am.... ahem... more than slightly well endowed. I was a D cup BEFORE pregnancy/nursing and my nursing breasts were (forgive the visual) porn star huge. There was no discreet nursing going on. I think because I have always been uncomfortable with my size I can't deal with nursing in public unless I am very well covered. At home it's generally a show, unless there are men in the house and then I go into another room (or make them do so.) Mostly I think this is my own insecurity!
ReplyDelete-Caitlin